For life’s inevitable potholes, key is learning to avoid them

If you’ve driven a vehicle long enough, you’ve encountered an unexpected hole in the road. Suddenly, you experience a bam! While some potholes are bigger than others, they can take you by surprise and possibly impact your car negatively.

But have you ever run over the same pothole? It typically renders a sore reminder of the last time that happened.

Think of how this correlates to relationship patterns you have. Let’s say you have a shocking comment from someone in your life. You’re jolted, just like in the car example. And then it happens a second or third time. You sorely recall this unpleasantness that leaves you feeling poorly. How can you creatively avoid falling into the same pothole again? Maybe boundaries are called for. Perhaps you reevaluate your expectations of the relationship.

Let’s apply this concept to habits you wish to change. Take the example of overindulgence in food, drink or negativity. Pick one. You make a pact with yourself to alter the habit because you’ve experienced detrimental effects repeatedly. You know why you want to change the pattern, so you move forward in your commitment.

Seemingly out of nowhere, you cave in. You indulge. It’s almost as if you were sleepwalking. Maybe you then become startled as to how it happened. What went wrong? You are a human being, so you ran into a pothole. You made a mistake or became a victim of a blind spot.

In these and other instances, it does little good to berate yourself or become infuriated. In fact, self-loathing makes it worse. Have you noticed that? Beating yourself up only increases the possibility of falling into the same pothole, the same trap once again.

Instead, begin with compassion. Realize that joy is the goal. After all, isn’t that why you would want to avoid the pothole? Simply, recalibrate in real time. Your golden opportunity for smooth driving lies in this very moment.