Mirroring can boost relationships — but don’t lose yourself

Are you aware of how mirroring works? It can be extremely beneficial in certain circumstances but detrimental in others. Mirroring is when one person mimics your actions, words, dress, gestures and even your opinions.

It can be used initially to bond with others and belong in a group. Salespeople are often very good at this social skill. It puts the customer at ease when someone in sales speaks their language and style. Many people feel more comfortable when the other person dresses similarly and shares common viewpoints. Emotional mirroring can be used positively with a family member when practiced with the noble intention of connecting. It can even be experienced as a form of empathy. For example, if you’re talking to your teenage child, it may be helpful to meet them where they are rather than approaching them as an authoritarian adult. They may be more willing to open up in a conversation if they observe uncontrived commonalities. You’re communicating that you’re on the same team. Belonging is a major emotional and social drive in human beings, both in children and adults.

If you are mirroring someone else, it may be unconscious. You may simply be influenceable. However, this can rob you of authenticity and being a critical thinker and sovereign being. Self-awareness is crucial.

Mirroring can also take a darker turn. Someone may use this technique to gain your trust for manipulation purposes only. They want you to buy into them and their ideas for their own gain. They may see you as a mark. How can you prevent this from happening to you? Some suggestions are listed below.

■ Be mindful. Observe the dynamics of those around you, especially new people. Learn more about mirroring and how you may be impacted.

■ Know your own value and worthiness. You’re less likely to be manipulated.

■ Have good boundaries. Honor yourself.