It’s difficult, but thinking about ‘good death’ can be helpful

Do you give much thought to your mortality? Have you considered your preferences about how you’d like the end of your life to be? Are there specific elements that are important to you?

Many cultures have reverence for the dying process and are intentional about dying a good death. What does that mean? For some, it means dying with dignity and in peace. For others, it means being surrounded by certain people and items. It also could mean carrying out certain rites of passage and ceremony to honor this transition as sacred.

In the book “Grace and Grit” by Ken and Treya Wilber, dying a good death is portrayed in detail after Treya succumbed to a battle with cancer and consciously partook in how she wanted her dying process to proceed. They share their journey in this book as caregiver and patient, and write about the different layers of struggle that both roles may entail. It reminds the reader that having these conversations, as difficult and awkward as they may be, is helpful to all involved when the time comes.

Many people prepare wills and trusts. Often, they’ve outlined what they want in their service and how they want to be remembered. Few consider the details of what they would prefer, if possible, during the actual process of dying. Having sacred texts read, or playing specific music are a couple of the requests we often hear about in our work. Regulating the energy of those in the room with the dying person often is something asked for in the mix, as well. Some people want only a steady, calm peaceful energy; others prefer a more festive environment celebrating their life.

You get to choose what you desire if you’re fortunate enough to experience this process consciously. You can select who, how and when in making your transition to support you in the best possible state of mind, heart, body and spirit during this time.