A new modus operandi offers chance to change for better

How would people describe your standard way of operating? Modus operandi sheds light on how we tend to regularly behave as human beings. You may liken it to the way a person does business, so to speak.

MO informs others as to the way an individual or group frequently thinks and acts. MO gives a degree of predictability and certainty to the way that others act.

If you know that your uncle Matt or your sister Teresa is coming to an event, you are likely to form an automatic conclusion about how they will behave. It gives you a sense of control if you think you know what will happen. This is a fair premise except for one thing: What if the person makes a definite alteration in their behavior?

This also rings true for you. Have you ever made a change and entered a familiar social scene only to have others treat you as they usually do? Based on repeated patterns of past behavior, others expected you to operate a certain way. It can be frustrating if you earnestly have shifted your MO. You made changes but others didn’t recognize them.

You earnestly altered your way of behaving. You became more introspective. You practiced listening more. You read various self-help books that pushed you in new directions which you now enjoy. Yet, those in your social scene chided you into being your “old self.” They asked you if you were feeling OK. They told you you must be depressed. Even as you insisted you were happy and feeling good, the social circle remained perplexed.

It may take time and consistency for others to integrate novel patterns you’ve established. It’s like starting a new movement in the middle of an established dance. Some may never “buy it.”

But being true to yourself in the end will bring you greater happiness. It’s also good to keep an open mind about the possibility of others changing their MO. Nothing is ever really set in stone about human beings.