The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Giving/getting feedback differs among generations
That means navigating varying expectations becomes a challenge.
You have a slew of options in how you deliver critical feedback at work. And depending on your generation, what you deem acceptable may vary.
We heard from readers who had a lot to say about our recent story exploring Gen Z’s expectations for workplace feedback. Some of you think Gen Z needs to grow up and stop complaining — after all, you and your colleagues managed just fine. Others applauded Gen Z’s demand for more constructive delivery and pointed out that all generations want feedback that is timely, collaborative and balanced, even if the youngest are perhaps becoming the most vocal. And some believe good management practices apply to all generations.
With four generations (Gen Z, millennials, Gen X and boomers) making up the majority of the U.S. workforce, communication and behavioral norms may vary. Learning how to work with colleagues who have different views is key to success at work, experts who study multigenerational workforces say. When it comes to critical feedback, which can be tricky no matter who’s giving or receiving it, navigating differing expectations becomes especially important.
“The whole reason we want to understand generational differences, especially in critical feedback, is because we want the message to land as well as possible,” said Giselle Kovary, generational expert and head of learning and development at Optimus SBR, a management consulting company based in Toronto. “It’s less about what you want to say and more about how they need to hear it.”
Here are some tips for giving and receiving critical feedback.
Know your audience
To better understand someone and communicate the message effectively, consider a worker’s norms.
Resist the idea that how you expect to give and get feedback is the same for everyone, said Megan Gerhardt, a professor at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, and author of “Gentelligence: A Revolutionary Approach to Leading an Intergenerational Workforce.” Instead, think about how a person might expect to give or receive feedback and work backward. That way you can deliver criticism in a way that will be heard and absorbed.
For boomers, respect their experience and expectations around formal processes, said Jake Aguas, a professor at Biola University in Los Angeles and author of “Generation Z and the Covid-19 Crisis.” Gen X likely needs transparent, direct communication with an emphasis on autonomy. Millennials normally think about inclusivity and may expect a more informal coaching or mentorship approach. And Gen Z wants to feel they can play a role in finding the solution as well as personal investment from the person giving them feedback, he said.
“My favorite analogy is think about it like you’re traveling,” Gerhardt said. “You’re aware you’re going to a different culture ... with different norms and views. When you interact, you work harder to make sure misunderstandings don’t occur.”
Prepare beforehand
Plan what you want to say, how to deliver it and the intended outcome. Whatever you do, don’t just wing it, Kovary said.
Homing in on your emotional intelligence skills can be helpful here, Aguas said. Be aware of yourself and how others may react to you. You can practice delivering feedback to friends and family members of different generations by asking them how they view a particular workplace procedure or how they might react if you offered a specific critique.
Develop a relationship
Establish a supportive relationship before you have to deliver critical feedback.
If the only time a colleague or employee hears from you is to hear what they’ve done wrong, the feedback could be taken much more harshly than intended, experts agree. Acknowledging someone’s experience, perspectives and efforts can go a long way in creating a connection and relationship of mutual respect. That may make it easier for someone to hear critical feedback, as they’ll know the intention is good, Gerhardt said.
Make it a two-way street
Approach every conversation with the expectation that you may have to receive feedback.
No conversation should be oneway, even if you’re prepared to deliver specific points, Kovary said. Prepare to actively listen. Read between the lines, notice body language, validate the other person’s experience, and paraphrase what was said back to ensure you’re understanding correctly.
If you’re on the receiving end, you may have to give feedback even if the door isn’t necessarily open for it.
“The number one thing I’ve seen work among all generations is to ask for permission,” Aguas said. “It could be as simple as, ‘I had a thought,’ or ‘I see something differently, and I’d love to share with you if you’re open to that.’”
Ask when needed
Sometimes we don’t get feedback when we need it. In those cases, it’s on us to speak up.
For some, giving negative feedback can be difficult and they may need a little push. So if you’re not getting enough feedback, you can frame it in a way that’s digestible, Kovary said. For example, you could say, “On a scale from 1 to 10, how did I perform? And what would I have needed to do to be a 10?”
Managers also can solicit feedback from the people who report to them: “How can I support you in your work? What activities do I do that engage you most often?”
In all cases, detach the feedback from the person and focus on the work, Kovary advises.
Don’t make it personal
Before you get upset at critical feedback, pause, breathe and take a second to think.
Often, the intention of a person delivering feedback may be entirely different from its impact. Just because it’s delivered in a way you don’t like, don’t take it personally, experts advise.
“Feedback is like a piece of gum,” Aguas said. “You pop it in your mouth, you chew on it, and then you move on.”
If you’re getting feedback that rubs you the wrong way, ask clarifying questions, Gerhardt said. Consider: “Can you help me understand what the goals of this feedback are?” “Can you help me understand how this feedback compares to other people at my career stage?”
If you’re giving feedback, start and end at a place of understanding. Begin with the idea that this moment presents an opportunity, and end by checking that you’re on the same page, she said.
Leave room for improvement
Most important, recognize that there’s always room for improvement.
You should strive to ensure feedback is specific, measurable, action-oriented, timely and results-focused, Kovary said. And we should aim to be more open to receiving it. Those are things all generations can do better, she said.