Find common ground that we already share
Some wondered why I would leave my prestigious job with my friend county Supervisor David Couch to write again, but I did. After you read this, you might wish I hadn’t left, since, well, here I am. But with all the noise and negativity out there, all those people arguing about something, I just felt I couldn’t be silent anymore.
When I left David’s office, I stole something from him, a favorite saying of his, “that we all really want the same things.” While we may have disagreed on a few things, we agreed on that. He would say whether you live in Haggin Oaks, or east Bakersfield, or throughout Kern County, we’re joined by this common desire.
But if we all want the same things, why do we fight so much? One could say in a world of limited resources, we’re all fighting for the same things but in a land of plenty like ours, there’s enough to go round, more or less. Rather, different forces are at play, both within us, and around us, that’s making conflict our automatic response.
A recent article by Christine Emba (Washington Post, May 13) discusses a new term about this. In her article, in which she is discussing society’s views on abortion and Roe v. Wade, she references “conflict entrepreneurs.” A conflict entrepreneur is someone who profits, who makes a living, by sowing discord among us. Our media, our current political system, even some of our preachers, have made division and discord the foundation of their prosperity. Look at our society today. It appears they’ve succeeded.
In her article, Emba cites a Pew Research Center survey that suggests most of us feel more or less the same way about abortion. Only 1 in 5 say it should be legal in all cases, and fewer than 1 in 10 say it should be illegal without exception. The rest of us share some common ground. So why does our abortion debate, and seemingly all of our debates these days, seem so hyper-polarized? Because conflict entrepreneurs polarize us. In another new release, author Tim Miller further confirms what we already know. In his book, “Why We Did It,” Miller describes himself as a “hit man” for an opposition research firm whose job was to “inflame voters who are not in on the joke.” That would be us. They want to inflame us. It’s working. We’re being played. We don’t have to be as divided or angry as these “jokesters” want us to be.
We may want the same things, but these forces convince us we don’t. They insist our options are “either/or” when commonality and compromise generate solutions. Conflict entrepreneurs gain nothing by suggesting we all share the same desires. They sow the seeds of discontent and hostility toward each other and they cultivate that until we become the hating society we are today.
In the Gospel According to Conflict Entrepreneurs, it is written: “Hate one another.” Turn legitimate disagreement over issues into personal animosity toward the other.” Jesus counters with “a new commandment I give to you: Love one another.” Let’s not be deceived by conflict entrepreneurs’ cloaks of righteousness. You reap what you sow. You can tell them by their works.
David was right. We all want the same things. Shop at Costco and you can see it. People of all looks, colors, backgrounds — all shopping for the same things. We’re not that different, and there is plenty, especially the way Costco packages in bulk.
So then, the question comes back to us. Who are we? Do we choose to be polarized by these conflict entrepreneurs or do we choose to find the common ground we already share? Do we act the fools the conflict entrepreneurs think we are or stand our ground and reject those views (and perpetrators) who peddle this division?
You decide for yourselves. Choose compromise, find common ground or choose those who prosper by getting you angry and hateful. If you choose the polarizing forces, remember what these haters said: The joke’s on you.