4 key lessons from submersible disaster
Learning from this tragedy would be the best tribute to those who perished
This past Sunday, like millions worldwide, I closely followed the news about the Titan, a submersible that tragically disappeared while exploring the wreckage of the Titanic.
I prayed for a miracle, hoping they would be found alive. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. The Titan imploded; the Titanic claimed five more lives.
I was reading many (perhaps too many!) articles about the events, the passengers and the submersible. Each provided another angle of the story. And as I read, a few insights came to mind.
1. Accept criticism, no matter where it’s coming from
The most upsetting thing about this disaster is that it could have been avoided. Stockton Rush, the CEO of OceanGate, the company that operated the Titan, was a creative entrepreneur, yet he repeatedly dismissed criticism about the submersible.
Business Insider referred to Rush as “spurred on, rather than deterred, by criticism of his sub.”
Why was he so adamant about dismissing any criticism? Because he felt people criticized him for the wrong reasons.
In an email to an expert who objected to his sub, Stockton wrote that “industry players” are trying to stop people like him because they are trying to prevent “new entrants from entering their small existing market.”
If he had been willing to look past their (possible) motives, perhaps he would be alive today.
Most of us don’t deal with such lifeor-death decisions, but none of us can live a life that is criticism-free. And when people criticize us, we often get defensive and think about their motives.
In his book “Hayom Yom,” Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson brings a beautiful quote from the fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe: “Cherish criticism, for it will place you on the true heights.”
Not only can criticism save us from making bad mistakes, it can make us so much better individuals. If we can look past the “who” and “why,” we can tap into the gift of criticism.
Yes, criticism is a gift wrapped in ugly wrapping paper, but a gift nonetheless.
2. Honor your parents, keep your own compass
Suleman Dawood, the youngest victim, was only 19 years old. He boarded the Titan submersible to please his father, despite feeling “terrified.”
“The 19-year-old ended up going aboard OceanGate’s 22-foot submersible because the trip fell over Father’s Day weekend, and he was eager to please his dad, who was passionate about the lore of the Titanic,” she said.
It’s inspiring to see how this young man cared so deeply for his dad and wanted to please him.
We need to apply this lesson in our lives, although in hindsight, this instance may have taken it a bit too far.
The fifth of the Ten Commandments says: Honor your father and your mother.
Note the precise wording — we are instructed to “honor” our parents, not necessarily “obey” them. Contrary to popular belief, this commandment primarily concerns our manner of treatment toward our parents.
Jewish law offers intricate guidelines about this Mitzvah, clearly stating that honoring our parents does not infringe upon our independent decision-making, including areas such as Torah study and moral choices.
Despite the tragic circumstances, we can still admire the dedication and respect Dawood exhibited toward his parents.
3. Loving is also protecting
This leads me to another impressive young man: Sean Bloom. His dad also wanted to go on the doomed sub, but Sean felt it would be unsafe.
He told People magazine:
“My dad didn’t go because I told him, ‘Dude, this submarine cannot survive going that deep in the ocean.’ I was worried because I didn’t think the submarine could withstand that kind of pressure and it wasn’t meant to go that far.”
Hey, Sean, I don’t think you should address your father as “dude” (see that fifth commandment!). But kudos to you for caring so deeply and raising the red flag.
Often, out of respect for our loved ones’ autonomy, we hold back our concerns, even when their decisions might put them in harm’s way.
In the Jewish laws of honoring our parents, we have a distinct duty to caution them when they’re on a potentially harmful path.
Obviously, this should be carried out with the utmost respect. But it has to be done.
After all, this is also an expression of love.
4. How to seek thrills in life
When my children learned about this tragic incident, they were puzzled. They asked me, “Why would they embark on such a dangerous journey that ultimately claimed their lives?”
I explained that the participants likely didn’t fully grasp the expedition’s risks. We then discussed the concept of thrill-seeking and how individuals often undertake risky adventures, captivated by the adrenaline and excitement they promise.
Seeking thrills is something that is baked into our personality. We all want to break out of the monotony, accomplish something grand, and dare and do things we never thought we could.
But maybe there is another way to do it.
We could seek out acts of kindness and good deeds that are so extraordinary and unique, we never envisioned ourselves performing them. We could dare to make a significant, positive impact on the lives of others. We could muster the courage to commit to a mitzvah we previously believed to be beyond our reach.
Many years ago, during a visit to my friend in Tel Aviv, I attended a service at the local synagogue. My friend, who is the son of the local rabbi, pointed out a particular congregant who seemed like an ordinary individual.
“Do you see this man?” he asked. “Only a few months ago, he was homeless. However, my father made it his mission to transform this man’s life.
“Initially, he offered him food and shelter. He then facilitated therapy for his emotional challenges and eventually helped him secure a job. You would not recognize him from just a few months ago!”
To me, this rabbi dove deep into the ocean of despair. He discovered this man, uplifted him and quite literally saved his life.
And I am sure he was thrilled.
I hope you find these insights meaningful, and I would love to hear yours. Because learning from this tragedy — and making ourselves and our world better — would be the best tribute to those who perished.
Not only can criticism save us from making bad mistakes, it can make us so much better individuals.