Rihanna, Madonna, and what drives conversations about women’s bodies
Aweek of social media debates about Madonna’s face wound down just in time for fervent discussions about Rihanna’s belly. “Is RiRi pregnant?” Even before the singer could finish the first verse of “Bitch Better Have My Money,” the opening number of her nearly 13minute Super Bowl halftime show on Sunday, everyone seemed fixated on what looked like a baby bump making its primetime debut while swaddled in a red Loewe jumpsuit, molded breastplate, and a matching red leather maxi puffy coat by Alaïa.
During “Where Have You Been,” concerned trolls wondered if she should be dancing “in her condition.” As Rihanna segued into “Only Girl (In the World)” some wondered whether it was a good idea for her to perform on a moving platform floating high above the ground. Others lamented or joked that a Rihanna pregnancy would sharply reduce chances of another album or tour from her any time soon.
After her performance came confirmation from the singer’s representatives — Rihanna and her longtime boyfriend, rapper-producer A$AP Rocky, are expecting their second child.
But what if she hadn’t been pregnant? What if her belly was due to lingering weight from her first pregnancy or something else she felt no need to reveal? It wasn’t enough for people to enjoy a Rihanna performance, something which hadn’t happened since the Obama administration. For many, her brief time on stage became a free-for-all to discuss and critique a woman’s body.
Most of the social media posts about Rihanna, at least those I saw, weren’t especially mean, aside from the self-appointed moralists whining that her performance was too provocative for children. (Of course, these same people had no problem letting their kids watch men wreck their brains and bodies playing football.) And House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s chaos kids just couldn’t stand Black women like Sheryl Lee Ralph who sang “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” the Black national anthem, and Rihanna owning one of the biggest stages in the world.
But posts about Rihanna certainly couldn’t compare with the nastiness Madonna received after her appearance a week earlier at the Grammy Awards. Yes, she looks different than she did when her first album debuted 40 years ago. She’s now 64, not 25, though she is trying to erase as many of those decades as possible.
Madonna is doing the same things as aging men who seem enhanced or preserved in ways contrary to the passage of time — yet they are mostly spared widespread condemnation.
That’s because the choices men make are generally considered sacrosanct. Not so with women. And when people discuss women’s bodies, what’s really being dissected is a woman’s autonomy to make her own choices.
On Instagram, Madonna confronted her detractors. “Once again I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in,” she wrote. “A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45, and feels the need to punish her if she continues to be strong willed, hard-working and adventurous.”
Madonna’s right about the ageism and misogyny, and also about attacks against strong-willed women. During a pre-Super Bowl interview, Rihanna highlighted how crucial it is for women to live outside the arbitrary boundaries demanded by others.
“When you become a mom, there is something that just happens where you feel like you can take on the world,” she said. “The Super Bowl is one of the big stages in the world, so as scary as that was — because I haven’t been on stage in seven years — there’s something exhilarating about the challenge of it all. It’s important for me to do this this year. It’s important for representation. It’s important for my son to see that.”
It was also important for the world to see a woman doing her job while pregnant since some seemed to forget that this happens everywhere all the time. A pregnant Rihanna high above the ground amid a riot of lights and against a stark evening sky made her hit, “Diamonds,” sound like a self-affirming proclamation:
Find light in the beautiful sea I choose to be happy,
You and I, you and I, we’re like diamonds in the sky.
Past and very recent history — the conservative-led Supreme Court’s dismantling of Roe v. Wade — have shown the impossible cost to women’s lives when others, too often right-wing men, decide that they alone know what’s best for women. But when we make our own choices about our existence and how best to thrive and be happy, we all shine like diamonds and spark light in the darkest corners.
And those choices, like our bodies, are no one’s business but our own.