Here’s what bothers parents about kids’ fashion
Bras that masquerade as shirts. Crop tops. Shorts all year long. Please, make it stop.
Ihave two sons. My first-grader is happy to don comfy elastic sweatpants from Carter’s ( just $8.99!). Comfy pants, of course, are pants without buttons or zippers. Please, no zippers. My eldest, now in middle school, has more sophisticated tastes: basketball shirts, baggy shorts, leggings under the shorts (I really don’t understand), and a flat-brimmed hat pulled over his eyes, all accessorized with neon orange Crocs adorned with charms — Jibbitz, for the uninitiated — or chunky, expensive sneakers that he buys with his allowance.
Overall, my woes are minor and mainly involve costly footwear. For many of us, it goes deeper, raising issues ranging from bodily autonomy and self-image to hyper-sexualization and the rise of eco-unfriendly fast fashion. There’s tension. There’s fighting. There’s the perpetual question: Why are crop tops marketed to children? And why do job-free teens believe they’re entitled to spend $89 for a scrap of fabric at Lululemon?
And so, with school in full swing and closets in full disarray, I asked parents about their biggest clothes-shopping conundrums. The response was messier than the sales rack at Primark. Here’s what bothers everyday parents about kids’ fashion. Anna Wintour, are you listening?
Crocs. Somehow, what started out as sturdy footwear for on-your-feet professionals and disgraced celebrity chefs have become the 2023 equivalent of Jellies (remember them?).
“Crocs are life, and they don’t care that they get their feet and socks soaked. I can’t wait for the cold weather to really come so they can fight me on wearing winter jackets, too,” says Renée Arsenault in Medford.
Sizes that wouldn’t fit a small Barbie, let alone a human. “Brandy Melville is [a] desired brand, which I hate with a passion. Clothes are one size. One size offered! This has resulted in my daughter feeling too big to wear their freakishly small pants,” one mom of a sophomore girl laments. I’d not heard of this brand until just now, but upon further inspection, I’m very glad that I grew up in the age of boxy Benetton shirts and overalls.
“Shopping for graduation dresses last year felt like shopping for lingerie,” adds Arlington’s Poonam Shanbhag-Shesh. (Again, I wore the equivalent of a poufy shower curtain to my prom, so I cannot relate.)
The proliferation of crop tops.
While body positivity is one thing, showing up to school half-nude is quite another.
“Everywhere we look, there are crop tops, and I simply don’t feel they’re appropriate for school or public,” says Billerica’s Amy Dearth.
There’s also the hypocrisy factor: So many parents say that girls are judged for wearing revealing tops, while boys can parade around shirtless without reproach (though ideally not in class).
“I wish there was a rule to keep shirts on all the time. It’s not a beach; it’s a school,” says Newton’s Adriana Kopinja.
Balancing autonomy with propriety. When do you let your child buy the revealing top, the borderline rude T-shirt, the ill-fitting pants? When is it about creative expression, and when is it downright obscene?
“To me, it’s quite demeaning, but they see it as power of choice. Sure, it’s a choice, but what is their choice representing? My perspective applies to both my daughter and my sons.
This is not a gender issue. This is a self-respect issue,” says Newton’s Sophia Aiello.
“As a modern parent, I struggle to support the ‘wear what feels good’ message (not the same message of feminine modesty many of us women grew up with), while also promoting values of self-respect and propriety, for lack of a better term, or pushing back against sexualization of girls,” says Arlington’s Holly Wiggin. “I’m thinking of when a friend’s thirdgrader asked when she’ll get to wear crop tops, bikinis, and makeup.”
A lack of tween-focused shops. “My daughter has outgrown kids’ sizes, but we often can’t find anything that’s age-appropriate in the adult versions of those stores,” says Malden’s Amanda Linehan. “There’s seemingly nothing between fast-fashion and Lululemon.”
Meager boys’ clothing options overall. ”There are no options for boys. We need more boys’ clothing stores, please,” says Lynnfield’s Kara Oliver. From one Kara to another, I’ll add: more shirts without slogans like “future stud” and “mom’s little heartthrob,” please. My son is not a firstgrade gigolo.
School dress code discord. “Finding long shorts for a female is not happening. Ever. I can’t even find an appropriate length for me, and I’m an adult. My kids refuse to wear ‘grandma’ clothes to conform to dress codes. It’s not their fault they can’t wear certain things due to others sexualizing them and being distracted,” says Rockland’s Alethea Favreau.
Cost. “[My daughter] wants expensive brands, so if she wants something from Lululemon, she works, doing jobs at home or baby-sitting her younger sister to pay for half,” says North Attleborough’s Sarah Cendella. “She’s 12.”
“Social media and trends equal an interest in what I consider ‘girl with a job’ brands like Lululemon, Free People, Brandy Melville, and Aviator Nation. [My daughter] would also have about a dozen pairs of Nike high-tops if she had an unlimited budget,” says Needham’s Kelly Devers Franklin. “I make my peace with it by thinking at least she has fewer things — rather than disposable fashion — and she knows she needs to take very good care of [her] things: hanging things to dry, clothes off the floor, et cetera.”
Last but not least, the looming threat of hypothermia. One mom I know, with a boy and girl, has turned into Al Roker. She maintains temperature rules.
“Under 45 means you need to at least bring long sleeves. Under 30 needs a coat,” she says.
Others still struggle. Even the most cautious parent can outfit a child for the elements, only to have them disrobe once out the door.
“I have three boys, and one … insists on shorts year-round. His teacher last year told me it’s a thing. It’s only boys, and every year there are a handful. So far, no one has died,” says Bolton’s Lisa Wilkins.
Winter is coming.