How educators should talk to students about mass shootings

After a mass shooting in Lewiston, Maine, Wednesday evening, parents, teachers, and other school officials must again have tough conversations with students about gun violence in the United States.

Experts said it’s critical for school leaders to create a safe and supportive environment for conversation if students have questions or want to express how they’re feeling.

With the prevalence of phones and social media, students have likely already been exposed to news about the event, and either have questions or need help emotionally.

Bob Bardwell, the executive director of the Massachusetts School Counselors Association, said it’s important for schools and other trusted adults to take a proactive approach in talking about it. For schools, it’s ideal to have a crisis team already prepared to jump into action and evaluate resources and how to deploy them.

“These are things that schools should forecast and have a plan for,” said Bardwell. “No one wants a trauma incident to happen ... but are you educating your staff or your teachers about what to do with these situations? Because most likely, no matter what you do is not going to make everybody happy, but at least you’ll know, this is the protocol. This is what we do in these situations.”

He said it’s often best to address the issue in small groups, in which a teacher or adult can more effectively provide a safe, supportive, and comforting environment to talk about the facts of the incident and allow kids to share their thoughts or feelings, and ask any questions they might have.

“You’ve at least opened the door to say, ‘I’m here if you want to talk.’ You’ve made them feel comfortable and welcome to have the conversation if they need to,” said Bardwell.

Experts recommend starting the conversation by asking what the students have already heard to get a sense of their awareness and understanding of the situation. Stick to basic facts, including location, especially for younger students who might be confused and worried about their safety. Don’t speculate on information that isn’t known yet, and don’t expose students, of any age, to graphic images or details, said Dr. David Shonfeld, director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.

To help children process the information, it’s especially important to actively listen and ask questions about how students are feeling, experts said.

“They might be confused about whether it’s OK to express certain emotions because they’re confused about what’s going on or they’re having difficult emotions,” said Dr. Anish Dube, chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Children, Adolescents and their Families.

He said it’s important to give them space to identify and name their feelings, and also be an example for how to use healthy coping mechanisms and behaviors to deal with those feelings.

Children are skilled at picking up cues they see in adults, so it’s critical the educators model healthy coping mechanisms and behaviors, he said.

It’s important to remember every child will have a different proximity level or sensitivity to the shooting, and some may need more support. Some might have personal connections to Maine, where the shooting took place, or have family or friends who were directly affected, while others will have none. Some students might not feel emotionally affected by the news, while others might have particular triggers for violent events due to past trauma, or from previous news about school shootings.

In all cases, experts say it’s important to be perceptive so adults can provide what each child needs.

For some kids, that might mean having one-on-one conversations with a school counselor or other licensed therapist, teacher, or parent. Others might need the comfort of having a buddy for a day. Some might need some alone time, or to be sent home to be with family.

It’s OK to not have all the answers when senseless violence occurs, and sometimes all adults can do is ensure children know they are safe and supported in their environment and by the people around them.

Don’t give students any false reassurance or information, but instead discuss existing safety measures at school and their home, and remind them of all the adults working to keep them safe, Dube said.

Older students may find relief in getting involved in advocacy work. “Kids are incredibly resilient,” Dube said. While they have been exposed to more violence, they have turned to activism. “They’re participating in the civic process,” said Dube.

However, educators should also be on the lookout for students who become reluctant to go to school or spend time with friends, or who are not enjoying activities to determine whether further mental health intervention is needed, he said.

For more expert recommendations on how to navigate these difficult conversations with children, check out resources from the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of School Psychologists, the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement, and the American Psychiatric Association.