Off Main Street /
The off beat side of the news
Because Cellino & Barnes could use more publicity
There’s no love lost between Ross Cellino and Steve Barnes these days as they fight over whether to break up their law firm.
But the latest “Saturday Night Live” imagined a happier time for the partners as Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost recapped the latest RussiaTrump news.
“Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen, who I believe is the love child of Cellino & Barnes, testified in court that Donald Trump continued to work on a deal to build a Trump Tower in Moscow well into his presidential campaign,” Jost said. The audience laughed as a photo of the two lawyers appeared briefly over Jost’s shoulder.
This made us recall the 2002 appearance at UB of Jimmy Fallon, then a Weekend Update anchor.
Writer Robert Smigel and his “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog” puppet, who opened for Fallon, had heard about the pair’s high local profile and wanted them to join him.
“I saw your ad, and I want to sue you for 30 seconds of my lifetime,” Triumph said. “You can’t sue anyone,” Barnes replied. “You’re a (expletive deleted) dog.”
Accentuate the positive
Earlier this week, animal-rights activists from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) suggested on social media that it was high time our language evolved.
Don’t beat dead horses. And – whether they’re the 17th best basketball team in the country or not – never take bulls by the horns.
A local ski resort, which relies on a wintry winter as a business model, has taken PETA’s stance a step further: Don’t talk bad about snow or winter.
Holiday Valley tweeted a few specific suggestions Thursday:
Instead of “It’s way too cold to go outside,” say “It’s cold, but I was just complaining about 85 degrees three months ago.
Instead of “There’s too much snow!” say “I hope it’s knee deep on my first run tomorrow.”
And our favorite: Instead of “I hate winter,” say “I love winter.”
Which was not something many of us said Thursday on our commutes to and from work.
Ho, ho WHOA!
Do not adjust your eyeglass prescription if you are on Chippewa Saturday afternoon: Those really are dozens and dozens of people dressed as Santa Claus for SantaCon Buffalo.
The annual event/bar crawl doubles as a chance to collect toys and funds for people who need help during the holiday season.
But there are rules for Santa’s helpers, which organizers helpfully disseminated on their website. Among them:
“Santa does not make children cry. Really, if you see kids, don’t do anything to freak them out. Give them a nice smile and possibly a gift of some kind (toys, candy etc). Parents and tourists are a different matter altogether – adjust your behavior based on their attitude.”
“Watching santa get drunk and rowdy is fun. Baby-sitting santa while he vomits in an alley is not. Don’t be that santa.”
And perhaps most importantly: “Santa doesn’t get arrested.”