Long friend­ship ends abruptly over politics

The Buffalo News - - LIFE & ARTS -

Dear Abby: In the last pres­i­den­tial elec­tion, I had a friend who voted dif­fer­ently than I did. We didn’t try to per­suade each other to vote “our” way, but I did share on so­cial me­dia some opin­ions about peo­ple who had taken some con­tro­ver­sial po­si­tions. She re­garded th­ese opin­ions as a per­sonal at­tack and stepped out of my life with­out warn­ing.

I have tried to re-en­gage with her sev­eral times – texts, Face­book mes­sages, phone calls. One mes­sage was met with hos­til­ity, and the oth­ers have gone unan­swered. I have tried to apol­o­gize for hurt­ing her feel­ings even though I didn’t in­tend to and asked for for­give­ness. I have of­fered to take her to lunch.

I hate the idea of walk­ing away from a 20-year friend­ship over some­thing that seems so in­signif­i­cant to me. Do I quit? Do I keep try­ing?

– Miss­ing My Friend In Michi­gan

Dear Miss­ing:

What hap­pened is un­for­tu­nate. Be­cause not one of your over­tures has been ac­cepted, step back and stop try­ing for a while. Af­ter the next elec­tion, cooler heads may pre­vail, and she may be more re­cep­tive.

Dear Abby:

Iworkasa sec­re­tary in a big law of­fice. At the end of the year we are sup­posed to box up and sum­ma­rize our closed files so they can be stored in our ware­house. For some rea­son, all the women in the of­fice seem to think I should find a man to help me carry the boxes. All I’m do­ing is pick­ing them up and putting them on a cart so I can take them to my desk.

Abby, I am more than ca­pa­ble of car­ry­ing a box that weighs any­where from 20 to 50 pounds. I’m in my mid-30s, fairly ac­tive and have never had a prob­lem with this. I have worked here for about three years, and it’s al­ways the same re­ac­tion. To­day my su­per­vi­sor made a big scene and in­sisted I find help.

Should I just give in to their de­mands or stand my ground?

– Do­ing My Job

Your su­per­vi­sor may have told you to have a man place the boxes on the cart, I sus­pect, be­cause of pos­si­ble li­a­bil­ity should you in­jure your back do­ing the lift­ing. Be­cause ig­nor­ing the re­quest could lead to “is­sues” with your em­ployer, you should com­ply.

Dear Do­ing: Dear Abby:

I have re­cently been trans­fer­ring all my photo slides from my child­hood to my present age to my computer. Re­view­ing them I am dis­mayed there are very few pho­tos of my grand­fa­ther, fa­ther or hus­band be­cause they were usu­ally the ones be­hind the cam­era tak­ing the pho­tos. Let’s all re­mem­ber to also put them in front of the cam­era so we may have many cher­ished mem­o­ries of them, too.

– Pic­tur­ing It In Oak­land

Dear Pic­tur­ing It:

Your sug­ges­tion has merit, which is why I’m shar­ing it. How­ever, with the ad­vent of cell­phone cam­eras and the ease with which folks take group self­ies th­ese days, I’m bet­ting that in the fu­ture no one will be left out of the pic­ture.


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