Is it rude to ask how someone caught COVID- 19?
Q: Is itOKto askpeople howthey gotCOVID- 19?
A: Absolutely. When people mention they’ve hadCOVID- 19orknow someone who’s contracted the virus, the natural next thought is, “Howdid they get it?”
While asking people howthey gotCOVID- 19 can appear nosy, it’s not. We’re all just trying to understand for our own edification and to prevent spreading it to others.
However, our delivery and choice ofwords truly matter. Whenwe’re empathetic, itmakes people feel safe, and thereforewe’re muchmore likely to obtain an open, honest answer. Anaccusatory tonemakes people feel judged and is guaranteed to put them on the defense.
There’s no denying a certain amount of stigma is swirling around the virus, and while it’s significantly worse, our reaction is similar to thewaywe typically run for the hills whenwe hear someone has the stomach flu or a child has lice. So if you inquire, be considerate and caring, as opposed to collecting facts or assigning blame.
— Lisa Gaché, etiquette expert and founder of Beverly Hills Manners
A: While society has become more open and it’s quite rare that any topic is taboo, inquiring howsomeonemay have become ill is still in poor taste. Some subjects, especially this one, remain personal.
Inquiring in depth about anyone’s private health issues remains in poor taste as it is considered an invasion of privacy. Think of it thisway: Would youwant to share extensive details about howand possibly why you caught the virus? Putting yourself in the shoes of the other person tends to allowpeople to err on the side of caution and civility.
It’s best to skip thewhy and howof illness— especiallyCOVID- 19— and stick with good wishes for a speedy recovery.
— KarenThomas, etiquette expert