What makes mom a remarkable woman?
These five factors could provide clue
The pandemic made it an exhausting year for mothers. Many moms struggled with working from home while overseeing their kid’s online schooling.
McKinsey & Co. researcher Joanna Barsh interviewed “remarkable women” who have been able to do well professionally as well as personally. These mothers arranged for someone — a spouse, grandparent, or caregiver — to take care of their children for several hours. That enabled them to be extraordinarily productive at work before turning their full attention to their children.
Barsh identified five factors that contributed to being a “remarkable woman.”
Meaning. The first characteristic Barsh found was that these women were on a mission.
Remarkable women were determined to make the world a better place, which provided them inspiration and motivation.
Having a clear purpose in life enabled these women to develop grit — a powerful combination of passion and perseverance. They were committed to making a meaningful difference in the lives of all the people they cared about. These women thought outside of the box to find creative solutions to the setbacks they encountered.
Framing. Remarkable women confronted problems with an optimistic mindset. They rejected playing the blame game. These women framed problems as being situational — not personal. They asked lots of questions to get a clear view of the behaviors that led up to the problem situation.
They avoided blaming to prevent spiraling into selfdoubt or angry exchanges. By sidestepping the quagmire of criticism, remarkable women overcame obstacles by forging agreements to change behaviors.
Another crucial skill practiced by these women with wonderful coping skills was to stop dwelling on past problems or worrying about everything that could go wrong in the future. Instead, they remained focused on what they believed would be the best plan of action in the present moment to achieve a positive outcome.
To deal with failures, remarkable women figured out how to adapt to changing circumstances by using the “fail fast” approach: “This seems like the right thing to try to get me to where I want to be. It will either work or not. Either way I’ll learn what to try next.”
Maintaining a positive frame of mind enabled remarkable women to believe they were capable of figuring out how to ultimately prevail. They could see themselves learning and growing as a result of their struggles.
Connecting. Remarkable women developed meaningful connections with mentors at work who provided personal guidance as well as being their champions for advancement in the organization. People with solid relationship networks received more promotions, higher pay, and greater work satisfaction.
How did they build their relationship networks? They asked questions of their superiors to develop an understanding of what was important to them. They offered to assist them in achieving their goals. They created a two-way connection that developed reciprocity. Helping others created the conditions for being able to ask for help when they needed it. It was like having money in the bank.
Energizing. Another coping mechanism that remarkable women embraced was replenishing their energy. They identified the activities that drained their energy or recharged it. They adjusted their schedule and their commitments accordingly. These women had daily rituals in which they renewed themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially.
At the top of the remarkable woman’s energizing list — getting a good night’s sleep. One way they accomplished that was to avoid alcohol in the evening. Another contributing factor to getting great sleep was exercising 30 minutes 5 times a week to burn off stress. Finally, they turned off their computers and phone an hour before bedtime.
These women saw that it was impossible to always maintain work
— life balance. So, they adopted a life of “managed disequilibrium.” They had periods of time they were fully engaged in work. But they set boundaries to give themselves time to focus exclusively on their personal life.
Engaging. This is where all of the five factors came together. Remarkable women transformed themselves from being a person to whom things happen to someone who makes things happen. They identified and developed strategies to overcome obstacles that were holding them back in their career and family life.
Engaging required courage — the willingness to fight for what they wanted, especially if that meant fighting against their own fear and doubt. Engaging required being responsible for their own development, standing up for what they wanted, and choosing to act on opportunities in spite of the risks involved.
It was only by making a conscious commitment to learn to use all five factors that they became “remarkable women.”