Savoring food and family
Have Thanksgiving gratitude today, as tomorrow may change
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, with the convergence of oyster stuffing, buttery yams and the people we love most all in one house, at one table. The December madness has not trampled us yet. We eat the best meal of the year, warm and delicious, yet we get to chill.
At this time each year, while I’m writing my Thanksgiving story at my computer, I look up and see a brown paper feather with this inscription: “I am thankful for my parents because they always take care of me.” This was crafted by one of our sons when he was in the second grade. The students read their inscriptions on their feathers at the school Thanksgiving assembly.
Our hearts heave with memories on this day we give thanks, for beloved parents who have passed and toddlers who grew into fine young adults. We reflect on how swiftly the year has passed and are grateful we are still standing, amid culture wars and global chaos.
As we brine our turkeys and set tables with our best goblets and dishes, we are grateful to take a reprieve from the breaking news on our screens.
Each holiday, I wish I had crafted a thankful feather to give to my parents when I was in second grade at Horace Mann School in Oak Park, Illinois. That feather from a son, who is now 31, reminds me of how my mom and dad took really good care of me, giving me the structure and stability that has led to a lot of blessings.
One paper feather reminds me of an entire life.
I do not keep a daily gratitude journal, though I always herald the coming of Thanksgiving with my own thankful list. First up, is this one: Right now, our family is all healthy and safe. That is my number one source of gratitude as danger dances all around us.
The holiday of Thanksgiving reminds us that it is our loved ones that keep us centered and sane. It is their love that serves as our steady rudders as we ride the storms of life.
In the Dalai Lama’s book “The Art of Happiness,” His Holiness writes: “whether we are feeling happy or unhappy at any given moment often has very little to do with our absolute conditions but, rather it is a function of how we perceive our situation, how satisfied we are with what we have.
“If you maintain a feeling of compassion, loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door.”
That inner door swings open when the house front door opens and kids and significant others and friends start barreling in from cars and planes and trains. Usually in Maryland on Thanksgiving Day, it is warm enough for outdoor games. While the turkey cooks, I watch from the kitchen window as Frisbees and footballs and kids are flying through the yard.
Taking in the gorgeous scene of leaps and laughter, I am brimming with what the Dalai Lama writes about, being so satisfied with what we have.
Later in the day, I will wear my mother’s faded checked apron, as I pull out the bird and mix up the gravy and drink in the scent of rosemary and sage, flushed with the heat of the kitchen and love.
Beyond our family, I am thankful for the decades-old friends made in our beautiful town. We knew each other’s children as babies and we now go to those children’s’ weddings. We are at each other’s parents’ funerals.
As we count our blessings on this day, we are painfully aware of those who are suffering, a grief augmented by a fresh round of disasters — another school shooting, more explosions in Ukraine.
Knowing the fleeting nature of life itself, and how an eggshell thin line separates life from death,, I have learned to be thankful for a piece of every day, well beyond Thanksgiving. As the Beatles sang: “For tomorrow may rain so I’ll follow the sun.”
The sun is glaringly bright today, and my little world is happy and safe. Knowing this little world will be rocked in times to come, I treasure this moment, here and now.
Along with waves of gratitude that wash over us on Thanksgiving for our families, comes hope that the rocking of our bigger world will settle down. There are signs of this from a recent election when voters of both parties came together on key issues, upholding a democracy and individual rights.
The growing collective cry of the people to do the right thing fills me with the deepest of gratitude.
Finally, I am thankful to you, my readers. You fill my Inbox with letters, mostly kind. Those of you writing with critiques, thank you for speaking your mind. I may not agree with you, but I welcome a conversation, as you know from my responses.
We may come from different experiences and backgrounds, though I believe we share fundamental desires. We want our loved ones to be healthy and safe. We want a more peaceful world. We all savor this holiday that stops us in a glorious moment and allows us to give pause and be thankful for our blessings.
Those of you writing in daily gratitude journals, researchers claim you are adding years to your lives. There are multiple studies looking at how expressing gratitude leads to increased levels of happiness, self-esteem and energy.
While I am not a person who writes stuff down every day, I definitely feel happier and more energetic this morning after spilling all these thoughts here on life and love and Thanksgiving.