If wife wants out, trying to stop her is futile
Q: My wife moved out of our home several months ago. Recently, I learned that she is dating someone.
Our 16-year old son has remained with me, but he maintains a good relationship with his mother. They get together for dinner a couple of times a week. I would never want to use her conduct to interfere with their relationship.
She wants a divorce, yet I don’t want to admit failure and end our marriage. She said she doesn’t know whether she has grounds. Am I within my rights to try to stop the divorce?
A: You have the legal right to
Andrew & Jeffrey A.
Grossman
defend your position, but it probably doesn’t make sense to do so.
One of the grounds for divorce is met when spouses have been living apart, without cohabitation or interruption, for one year. By the time your case is scheduled for trial, the two of you will have been separated for that long. She will be able to establish a legal basis to end the marriage.
Unlike many individual failures in life, marriage takes two to succeed. You should move on with your life.
Q: Throughout our marriage, my husband has made the financial decisions while I have run the house and cared for our children. I just assumed that he was making good decisions.
Our marriage is ending, and I have learned that some of his “investments” were real losers that have significant long-term liabilities. I don’t think I should be responsible for the bad decisions he has made; he insists that we share in the bad with the good.
Because I had nothing to do with choosing the investments, why should I share in the loss?
A: You share in the loss for the same reason you would have shared in the gain if the investments had turned out to be real winners — because it is fair.
Would you take the same position and turn down profits if a few of his investments resulted in significant gains?
Although it might be different if he were doing something illegal, you don’t have the right to pick and choose from the many benefits and burdens that go into making a marriage a partnership.
In this case, you will be sharing the bad with the good.
Central Ohio lawyers Jeffrey A. and Andrew Grossman specialize in family-relations law. Send questions for consideration in care of The Dispatch, Life, 34 S. 3rd St., Columbus, OH 43215; or by email.