Chinese singles let parents pick partners

BEIJING — You are a young Chinese man whose father tells you the most important skill his future daughter-in-law must have is caring for her home and family. Your mother rejects a 40-year-old woman as your potential mate because she might be too old to bear children. This is not prerevolutionary China, but a new TV dating show.

Since “Chinese Dating” made its debut in late December, it has drawn viewers and generated lively discussions on China’s social networks. A Weibo page for “Chinese Dating” has been visited 177 million times, and the first three episodes had more than 200 million views.

Dating shows are not new in China. The top-rated “If You Are the One” turned several contestants into celebrities through their provocative statements, such as, “I’d rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.” What’s different about “Chinese Dating” is that it gives parents power over their children’s choices.

“The presence of the parents, who are the decision-makers in many young people’s marriages, and their blunt opinions contribute to the show’s appeal,” said Zhou Xiaopeng, a relationships counselor on the dating website Baihe. Zhou said the weekly show evokes China’s tradition of arranged marriages, which had fallen out of favor over the past century. Now, though, Chinese only children find themselves yielding to parents who are ready to provide them with everything, even a spouse.

The basic format of the show lines up several young men or women against five sets of parents. The children are in another room, where they can watch the proceedings and communicate with their parents by phone. Only candidates approved by the parents are allowed to meet their children.

“Matchmaking remains popular because, from the start, each side knows exactly what the other’s background is,” Zhou said. “It’s efficient when candidates are screened by parents.”