Former Marine hard worker but refuses help

Q: I have a talented new employee with one serious problem. “Stan” is a former Marine who has extremely high standards and an outstanding work ethic. However, he absolutely refuses to ask for help. He says his military training makes asking for assistance seem like weakness.

My team routinely deals with complex technical issues, and no one person has all the knowledge. Collaboration is critical to our success, but Stan always tries to figure things out on his own. His lack of experience creates issues that others have to fix.

Whenever I ask Stan if he needs help, he always says no. I’ve tried using sports analogies, but that hasn’t worked. How should I handle this?

A: New hires who were successful in another field frequently resent being back in a learning curve. To help Stan see the benefit of consulting with co-workers, explain how gaining this knowledge will actually accelerate his autonomy.

At the same time, you must clearly explain that collaboration will always be a necessary and non-negotiable aspect of this job. Since sports comparisons haven’t helped, try relating to Stan’s military experience. Complex military operations require extensive teamwork, and lone rangers are often dangerous.

Because people sometimes hesitate to seek help from the boss, consider asking an experienced and respected colleague to serve as Stan’s mentor. This should not only improve his technical abilities, but also provide him with a role model for collaborative working relationships.

But if all coaching fails and Stan insists on going it alone, then you’ll have to decide whether his independent nature fits with your company’s collaborative culture.