Food-focused friend needs to know effects of her comments
Dear Abby: I have a friend, “Charlene,” whom I met through a charitable organization. We have many things in common. We’re both retired, and we enjoy each other’s company.
Charlene is slim (not skinny), very energetic and fit for her age. The problem is, it’s impossible to share a meal with her. As soon as the food is served, she starts a constant commentary about “how big the portions are” and how she “couldn’t possibly eat” what is before her (it doesn’t matter how little is on the plate).
Often, she does actually eat most of her meal. Then the ongoing comments start about how she was such a “pig,” she won’t be able to eat another thing all day.
I don’t know whether she thinks she’s setting a good example (I am not slim) or whether she has some psychological issues surrounding food. I am tired of this routine.
Is there any way I can ask her to stop without hurting her feelings?
It in Idaho
Dear Sick: I can see how sitting through repeat performances of those refrains would get old fast. Of course, there is a way to get her to stop. Tell her: “You know, when you say that, it prevents me from enjoying my meal, so please don’t do it when you’re with me.”
Dear Abby: I have been selected to attend a symposium in New York that will be attended by one or more members of the British royal family. Although I feel no animosity toward the royal family, some of my ancestors died fighting for freedom from English rule during the American Revolution.
I think it would be a grave dishonor to my ancestors to address the royals as “Your Highness” or any other term that suggests that they are above me, especially because this gathering will take place on U.S. soil. How can I address them respectfully without demeaning the sacrifices of my ancestors? — Ken in Ohio
Dear Ken: Be polite and gracious. Do not raise the subject of the American Revolution because I am quite sure they are already well aware of it.
To smile and say “It’s nice to meet you” would not dishonor your ancestors or embarrass the sponsors of the symposium. That’s what I recommend you do.