Try meeting habitual remark with complete bewilderment

I have an acquaintance whose response to other people’s good news is almost always a fervent, and loud, “I’m so jealous!” This might be in response to forthcoming vacation plans, a delicious dinner out or a restorative nap.

I’m sure that she doesn’t realize how unpleasant it is to be told that my enjoyment has caused her emotional distress. I’ve taken to avoiding conversations with her because I am not sure how to respond to this statement, and would rather avoid all mention of any aspect of my life that might serve to inspire it.

I have often thought of answering her “I’m so jealous!” exclamation with a lighthearted “Oh, dear, I had hoped you might be happy for me! I am so sorry to have caused you distress!” But I am not sure if this would be considered appropriate, or exactly which facial expression would best convey my meaning. I worry that others are also put off by what seems to be a habitual response and is, no doubt, meant to charm, not dismay.

Actually, Miss Manners finds your response to be perfect. The accompanying facial expression (eyebrows together, mouth turned down) should demonstrate that is equal parts hurt and confusion. With any luck, that will be the last time that you will have to indulge her.

Am I correct that food, once on my plate, remains

food even if moved to the refrigerator as leftovers?

My husband thinks that anything he finds in the refrigerator is fair game, even if it’s my wrapped half of a lobster that I couldn’t finish the night before.

Is this the accepted custom for leftovers? He says if it’s in the refrigerator, it’s for anyone. Should I buy a mini fridge to keep in my closet?

Would it not be less expensive just to appeal to your husband and ask him not to eat it? Miss Manners hopes that you will not resort to the office break room practice of labeling your food, when a short conversation after your meal seems so much easier. And would set a far better precedent for marital communication — if not marital sharing — in the future.

I have six nephews, ages 13 to 29. At what age is the proper etiquette to stop giving birthday and Christmas gifts?

I do not have any children. I am expected to give gifts because I have a decent occupation; however, I am not close to any of them. Two of the six do acknowledge the gifts.

Then continue to give presents only to them. While there is no etiquette rule that caps the ages of the recipients, there is one that requires a thank-you note for any presents received. Miss Manners encourages you to continue the relationship with only the nephews who acknowledge the gesture, for as long as they continue to do so.

I have a name that people like to make jokes about. No matter how clever or original a person might think their comment is, I have heard it many times before! Even after someone meets me for the first time, they might continue to make the jokes whenever we see each other. What is the best way to tell someone that I hear this all the time, and I would like for them to stop?

“Yes, people keep saying that. What are some of the names that you get called that you find hilarious?”