Relationship not likely to survive differences in beliefs

Dear Abby: For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust. We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t think that our relationship can survive this difference.

I told him I would go to church with him, and raise our children in a Christian home, but when they are old enough we should allow them to make their own decisions. He says that would be “just going through the motions” and I’d eventually resent him for it.

Must I let him walk away? Or should I fight for what could be the best thing that’s ever happened to me? in Texas

Dear Heartbroken: In what way do you plan to “fight”? Do you plan to convert to his religion and devote the kind of time to it that he does? Think carefully about what that would mean.

Although his fervent beliefs are laudable, what this man doesn’t realize is that regardless of the example he wants to set for his children, eventually they are going to make up their own minds and live the way they wish.

This “one difference” is a deal-breaker. He is looking for a spiritual clone. You’re not it, so let him go.

Dear Abby: The company I work for recently switched to digital phones that show the caller’s name and location on a screen. Years ago, I formed the habit of introducing myself when placing a call: “Hi, this is Sally from marketing....” I have been informed that what I’m doing

— Polite in California Dear Polite:

is old-fashioned and a waste of everyone’s time.

The preferred method would be to launch into the conversation with no introduction, just “Hi. I need instructions for the new projectors,” because the person already knows who is calling. To me, this feels rude.

I can’t help but wonder what the long-term office climate will be like if everyone is so terse. On the other hand, many of my younger co-workers would prefer not to talk at all and conduct business by email or text.

Where is the middle ground here? There are certain niceties that make interactions with others more pleasant. Although you might no longer have to announce that you are “Sally from marketing,” it is polite to inquire how the person is doing or how the day is going. It’s a pleasant conversationstarter and a transition into the business you will conduct. Because you are getting flak for it, seek advance from your employer or humanresources department.