Marriage seems unwise for woman with 2 lovers
I am a 37-year-old divorced mom of two. I have recently gotten into relationships with two different men.
One of them, “Steve,” has the life I have always wanted, and he says he loves me more than life itself.
The other, “Rick,” I love more than life itself, but I have the feeling he doesn’t love me as much as I do him.
If I were to love Steve the way I love Rick if Rick were to love me the way Steve does, the decision would be clear. I can see myself making a life with either of them. I risk losing either one as a friend if I pick the other one.
They both love my kids, and I love theirs. Both want to build a life with me. How do I decide which path to take? How do I not have doubts about what might have been if I had chosen the other? —
You are no more stuck than you want to be. I know what decision I would make if my choice was between a man who loved me more than life itself and who could give me the life I had always dreamed of, and someone I was crazy about but suspected didn’t love me as much — but only you can decide what is right for you and your children. I don’t think you should marry either man unless you are confident you can do it without secondguessing yourself.
I am 72 years old and I cry a lot. I’m so resentful of my former friends I can’t stand it.
I have lost two cherished wives, two children and one grandchild, while those people still have their first wives and all their children and grandchildren.
Why did I have to lose people I loved? I am so full of anger that I no longer believe in God. Do I need therapy? —
The problem with harboring resentment and anger is that, unchecked, they feed upon themselves and grow. A therapist could be helpful by giving you a safe place to vent those emotions.
It is normal to cry when in emotional pain, but you could also benefit from talking with a grief counselor. Your physician might be able to suggest one.
My child attends a private school. The school is trying to discourage gossip, which can lead to bullying. The way they do it is, when a child asks a question about another child, the teacher’s answer is, “That’s none of your business.”
Whether I agree with that response is irrelevant because I feel schools have the right to run themselves the way they deem proper. However, isn’t there a nicer way to phrase it?
I agree that whoever wrote the script for those educators was less than tactful. A better way to phrase it would be, “You do and stop worrying about other people,” which might be less harsh.
— Clamping Down on Gossip Dear Clamping Down: