Woman whose dementia was shared online dies
Joey Daley didn’t quite look into the camera, the one recording his message to tell the world that he had just lost his Mom, because he could no longer hold back the tears as he spoke about how the dementia that ravaged her mind had never stolen her kind heart.
“The one thing that she gave me, which is the most important thing ... was love. That’s all I needed,” he said, choking up. “I wish she could see what she created. She would be amazed.” Joey Daley chronicled the life of his mother, Molly Daley, who was dealing with dementia, in a series of YouTube videos, capturing the hearts of many and building a massive online support community. Molly died Tuesday at age 67.
What Molly Daley — who died Tuesday at the age of 67 — created, along with Joey, was a close-knit and massive Facebook community of those suffering
from dementia, those caring for someone with dementia and those who simply want to know more about the disease and support those forced to live in its world.
It was Jan. 28, 2017, that Joey, of Dublin, posted a 23-minute YouTube video titled “The Beginning of a Mother and Son’s Journey with Dementia.” It was gut-wrenching.
In it, Molly cries and says, “Nothing is OK.” It gave the world a realistic glimpse of what their lives were like as she descended further into the darkness of confusion from her Lewy body dementia. But it also was heartwarming, showing the
two laughing together and sharing tender moments.
Not long after Joey posted it, the followers piled up. And together from then on, Molly and Joey chronicled their journey online. Joey said his mother had deteriorated rapidly in the days just before her death, and the family was with her at the end. Friday, Joey posted Episode #55 to YouTube: “My brave Mother is finally free from her suffering.”
Joey doesn’t want anyone to remember his mom as a victim, though. Far from it.
“What I don’t want is for people to think of my mom as that poor lady that died of dementia,” Joey told The Dispatch Saturday. “I would rather they think of her as a warrior, a warrior who woke up and went to battle every day and who helped other people learn how to care for people with dementia. Her story has made a difference, and it gives me comfort knowing she will live on in Molly’s Movement.” (www. mollysmovement.com)
That’s what Joey calls everything born of their public journey. As part of its mission, the Daleys give back with little things to ease other’s burdens: an iPad to help a woman communicate, a dinner out as a treat, a movie night as respite. And its work won’t end with his mother’s death, Joey said. It can’t.
“The bigger the movement became, the more responsibility I felt to keep it going,” said Joey, a 44-yearold online-business entrepreneur and website builder. “My mother, she couldn’t quit dementia and so I couldn’t quit this. This has all made me stronger. I won’t quit now, either.”
On Saturday, thousands of people had left online messages saying how much the Daleys’ journey has meant to them, and dozens of people posted photos of themselves having a Wendy’s Frosty — Molly’s favorite — in her honor: She has helped a lot of people and I know you miss her but know she has left a legacy of a wonderful son and a great accomplishment of Molly’s movement. Well done dear and faithful servant. My heart is broken. I will never forget Molly or you.
As for Joey, he is just grateful for all that his mom had so selflessly given them every day of her life and for the community they’ve built as her legacy.
“Even on her worst days, if I would cry, she would comfort me and say, ‘Joey, I’m OK,’” he said. “That was her. She always put others first.”
In addition to Joey and his wife, Kelle, Molly is survived by daughter Maria McClain, and five grandchildren. The family plans a public service in Molly’s hometown of Lima but no date has been set.