Friend must address feelings of unrequited love
Jeanne Phillips
Dear Abby: I’m a man in my mid-30s. For the past couple of years I’ve been in love with my best friend. She doesn’t know how I feel, and I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me. (She calls me the brother she always wanted.)
I try hard to fight these feelings so our friendship can continue. She has been a huge part of my life, so losing her friendship would be devastating.
To make matters more difficult, we are roommates and spend lots of time together. My heart breaks when she goes on dates or talks about guys she might be interested in. I know she’ll never see me as more than a friend. Is there any way I can get over these feelings so we can continue this friendship?
Dear Friend Zone: It might be easier to accomplish if you didn’t live together, and I think you should tell her why. Although it might end the fantasies you are nurturing, I see no reason for it to end your friendship. Please do not allow the status quo to continue because it isn’t healthy for you.
Dear Abby: One of my neighbors invited me to go shopping for plants at a local nursery. We had gone there a few days before. I drove that time; she said she would drive this time. I enjoy her company and was happy to go again.
Well, we had to take two different highways to get there, and she drove between 40 and 45 mph. Cars were passing us left and right going 65 or 70, and she couldn’t understand why people honked at her. She seemed surprised when I informed her it was because she was driving so slow.
It was very scary, and I don’t ever want to ride with her again. How can I tactfully let her know that from now on I’ll do the driving?
Dear Scared: You are right to be concerned for your neighbor’s safety. Drivers such as your neighbor cause accidents as people become frustrated and need to pass her.
Drivers are expected to observe the speed limits, and someone who drives at a crawl when the speed limit is 65 or 70 is breaking the law. If they are spotted by law enforcement, they can be ticketed for it. For both your sakes, please share this information with her.