Future is frosted, flaky for old works

On Jan. 1, the copyrights expired on a bunch of old songs, films, books and other works of art from 1923. They are now in what’s known as the public domain.

In other words, they can be used by anyone at no charge.

Included in the batch up for grabs is "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," one of Robert Frost’s best-known poems.

Also: the song "Yes! We Have No Bananas" and the book "The Prophet," by Kahlil Gibran.

Any of them could soon be employed in TV commercials.

I wrote a few with local flavor:

• Commercial for: the Jack Nicklaus Museum

Inspired by: "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening"

The commercial consists of shots of golf clubs and Nicklaus in his prime, with a voiceover reciting vaguely Frostian lines:

Whose woods these are I think I know,

He founded Muirfield Village, yo,

And swung his irons with deadly aim,

To his shrine you’ve got to go.

And if perchance you visit here,

Please buy a lucky souvenir,

Perhaps your own game will improve

Miracles happen, let’s be clear.

Don’t put it off, for time does creep,

Winter’s pause gives way to spring,

When you’ll have teetimes you must keep,

And drives to shank before you sleep.

• Commercial for: the Gahanna tourism bureau

Inspired by: "Yes! We Have No Bananas," a novelty song by Frank Silver and Irving Cohn.

Singers belt out "Yes, We Rhyme with Banana" while video of Gahanna rolls:

Yes, we rhyme with banana,

Not something most suburbs can say.

Not Obetz nor Outville Nor Blacklick nor Stoutsville

Bear fruit in their names this way,

Why settle for just alphabetic

When you can visit poetic?

Cause, Gahanna rhymes with banana,

Not something most suburbs can say.

• Commercial for: a Columbus divorce lawyer.

Inspired by: "The Prophet," a book of wisdom literature containing lines often read at weddings.

A wise person reads solemnly from the book while an angry married couple interject:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it be like a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

(Something about the size of the Atlantic Ocean would do it.)

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

(Because I prefer whole wheat, and he knows that, but he does this passive-aggressive thing where he buys white and we end up in separate bedrooms.)

Sing and dance together and be joyous

(But not to country western. She knows I hate country western. How many times do I have to say it?)

Scene cuts to a glowering lawyer, with a voiceover that says, "Attorney Les Getreal. When you don't need a prophet to know it's over."

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist jblundo@dispatch.com @joeblundo