Sex life need not disappear with age
Harris Bowman said he will never forget when his doctor told him they were going to remove his prostate gland and that it might render him impotent.
“I was in tears,” Bowman said of that 2012 moment. “I remember thinking, ‘This is
the end of my sexual life.’”
A 73-year-old widower at the time (his wife died in 2005), Bowman was unwilling to give up sex so easily.
Instead, the Downtown resident chose to have his prostate cancer treated with radiation, and after those treatments were finished, he sought solutions for the low testosterone levels and erectile dysfunction that followed.
Bowman found Dr. Lawrence Jenkins, a urologist at Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center, who talked a hesitant Bowman into trying penile injections. They worked.
“(Jenkins) gave me a crash course in how to do the injections myself, and I’ve been a happy camper ever since,” said Bowman, 80.
He’s certainly not the only senior citizen who wants to remain sexually active.
About 65% of respondents to a 2018 poll of Americans age 65 or older, sponsored by AARP, said they were interested in sex. More than half (54%) agreed with the statement, “Sex is important to my overall quality of life.”
That might be surprising to some who have outdated stereotypes of seniors, but not to doctors who regularly deal with the rapidly growing segment of the population.
“By 2030, one in five Americans will be over 65,” said Dr. Karen Kirkham, director of the geriatrics program for Ohiohealth. “Society doesn’t want to think about Grandma having sex, but that’s totally going to change as the baby boomers reach this age.”
Canal Winchester resident Harold Elliott, 68, is one of those boomers, and he, too, recognizes a different attitude toward sex as his generation ages.
“It’s changing; we’re not old like our parents,” Elliott said. “My parents couldn’t bring any of this stuff up. Everything stayed behind closed doors.”
As men age, erectile dysfunction is the most common problem, Jenkins said. Causes include diabetes, low testosterone or simply age-related sensory loss, he said.
Treatments vary, but start with, “improving your diet, exercising and reducing stress,” Jenkins said. “That’s the easiest way to improve your health.”
His second recommendation is to try Viagra or Cialis. Those don’t work for everyone, though, so his next recommendation is injections.
Elliott’s issue was different, though.
Beginning about 15 years ago, he developed Peyronie’s disease, which causes curvature of the penis and, if severe, can limit a man’s ability to have intercourse.
Like Bowman, he was not willing to say goodbye to that part of his life.
“I’m a fairly energetic old dude and in good shape,” said Elliott, who has been married for 32 years. “Sex has been part of me and I don’t know how to let it go.”
He went to Jenkins and had surgery to implant an apparatus that Elliott manually pumps up before sex.
The results thrilled him, and he said he now tells his friends to make sure they are taking care of any sexual problems.
“I mean, if you have a broken leg, you go get it fixed, right?” Elliott said. “If you have a broken tooth, you get it fixed. So what’s the difference?”
Of course, plenty of older women remain interested in a healthy sex life, as well.
Kirkham said vaginal dryness and incontinence can be two inhibitors to sex for women.
She recommended that women review all their medications with their doctors and talk about side effects such as dry mouth.
“If it causes dry mouth it can cause dryness everywhere,” Kirkham said. “So make sure it’s an essential medication.”
Pelvic-floor physical therapy and Kegel exercises can make a big difference for women dealing with incontinence, she added.
In general, Jenkins and Kirkham urge older patients to initiate honest conversations about sexual health with their doctors.
“It should be part of your routine with your primary care physician,” Kirkham said. “But people rarely ask their doctors about it. I encourage them to have a proactive talk about things like this that matter.”
kgordon@dispatch.com @kgdispatch