Church leader can help singer with difficult choir member

have affected you and ask for guidance. If she is the one sour note in the choir, it is possible she has done the same thing to others.

Dear Abby: My son moved in with a 22-yearold woman in 2009, and she gave birth to a baby boy in 2010. My son took on the responsibility of raising the boy. In 2018, she walked out on them both and wasn’t heard from again. Through public records we found out that she had committed suicide.

My grandson is now 9. My question is, is he old enough to be told about his mother, or should my son wait until he is older? I’m just wondering what is the right thing to do.

— Right Time in Florida

Dear Right Time: When your grandson asks about his mother, he should be told that she is no longer living. His questions should be answered in an ageappropriate way. He does not need to hear that she died by suicide until he is old enough to understand what she was suffering from and how sad you and your son are that her life ended the way it did.

Dear Abby: Despite gastric bypass years ago, my wife is still very heavy. I’m no longer attracted to her, yet she is my best friend. I have thought about leaving her. Our kids are grown, so I wouldn’t have to pay child support. In a few years, I will be too old to pay alimony. But because where we live is so expensive, I likely would have to move out of state. I don’t want to move or lose my best friend. — Unsure in the West

Dear Unsure: Before making decisions based on the assumption that you won’t have to provide for your wife financially, discuss this with an attorney. You may have to accept that, despite her weight-loss surgery, your wife has serious issues and, because she is your best friend, love her in spite of it. Help her as much as you can with healthy eating and an exercise routine you can do together.