Sister feeling snubbed should have talk with family members

feel left out. Do I have the right to have hurt feelings? — Forgotten Sister in Georgia

Dear Sister: You have the right to feel however you feel. But I have to wonder how close you and your brother really are, and whether you get along with the girlfriend. I suspect this may be why you are not included during these visits. Your parents may not have told you they were in town because they were asked not to or didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I think it’s time for a family discussion.

Dear Abby: I have always been very independent and haven’t had many serious relationships in my 34 years of life. For the last two years, I have been in a healthy relationship with a man who is kind, smart and makes me feel like I can be myself.

On our first anniversary, although we had never talked about marriage, he surprised me with a proposal. I didn’t feel the excitement and joy that I had always pictured myself feeling when this moment finally happened to me. We haven’t set a wedding date, nor am I thrilled about getting married.

I love this person and appreciate him, but I feel like I should be over-the-moon about spending forever with him. Do these blase feelings mean this isn’t the right person for me, or that I’m simply not ready for the next step? — Bewildered Mountain Girl

Dear Girl: Real life isn’t like it is portrayed in the movies and on television. There is no cookie-cutter reaction to receiving a proposal. Many women would be thrilled to receive a proposal of marriage from a man who is kind, smart and with whom they can be themselves. (I am not implying that this should be you.)

My recommendation is that you two have a long engagement as well as premarital counseling, so you can both determine what is important to you and if you are on the same page.