Siblings cannot agree over dying father’s final wishes

Dear Abby: My mother died two years ago. My parents purchased a prepaid cremation package. My mother was cremated.

While Dad was able to communicate and make decisions, he stated that he did not want to be cremated.

So I took Dad to a funeral home and selected a funeral package that included a traditional burial, and called to cancel the cremation package. My sibling, who is the power of attorney, talked him out of it and reactivated the package!

Now my father has been diagnosed with severe dementia and cancer. I’m concerned that his final wishes won’t be followed. If he is cremated, I am considering skipping his funeral. How can I get through to my sibling that this was wrong?

— Not What He Wanted

Dear Not: I think it would be in your interest to calmly discuss this with your sibling and find out why your father changed his mind after telling you he preferred to be buried.

If you do not attend your father’s funeral service, I am concerned that it will cause a permanent rift in the family and be something you may regret for the rest of your life.

Dear Abby: My husband and I took in our almost 20-year-old stepgrandson, “Philip.” He has been with us almost a year. He was really appreciative when he moved in and when my husband helped him get a car.

Philip has said in the past that my husband’s political views scare him, and I can understand that. Today when my husband and I were at lunch, he mentioned that when Philip came in this morning, he ignored him. My husband asked me if he had done something wrong, so I explained the political thing.

I can understand the difference in political views. What I can’t understand and don’t know how to handle is the sudden show of disrespect.

— Keeping The Peace In Arizona

Dear Keeping: Allowing yourself to be the go-between apparently hasn’t worked, so step out of the middle. Tell your husband the next time your stepgrandson is rude that HE should take it up with the young man.

Philip needs to realize that your husband’s views are as valid as his are. Philip should either find a better way to deal with it or move.