Christians: Seek relationships, not judgment, with LGBTQ people
LGBTQ people need deliverance. This is something that many LGBTQ people have heard throughout their lives, especially if they grew up in a religious context.
Many of them try very hard to change their attractions and sequester their desires. Some, either voluntarily or by force, undergo conversion therapy to rewire their brains. They attempt to “pray the gay away,” begging God every day to make them straight. In many cases, these prayers appear to go unanswered.
There are also numerous individuals with testimonies of how God changed their orientation and now they are happily heterosexual and married with children. Many of them will say that it took some work, but that with a little persistence and a lot of faith, they were able to overcome the stronghold homosexuality or transgenderism had on their lives.
If they could do it, so could other LGBTQ people … right?
Even though I now identify as a member of the LGBTQ community, I will admit that I used to think this way. While I never preached explicitly antigay sermons or publicly denounced LGBTQ people, my personal theology used to be that being LGBTQ went against the will of God and, as such, gay and transgender people needed deliverance from their immoral ways.
This is what my religion taught me. However, I learned an even greater lesson when I developed meaningful relationships with members of the LGBTQ community.
Jesus was all about relationships. The Scriptures show us that Jesus took the time to talk with and get to know people. He didn’t go around preaching at people. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, Jesus did very little preaching. He had conversations.
When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4), he sat and talked with her. It didn’t matter that she was of a different ethnicity, and he was not put off by the fact that she did not lead a socially acceptable life. Rather than preaching at her or shaming her, he developed a relationship with her. And because of that relationship, the woman’s life was changed forever.
I adopted this model of ministry and Christian living years ago.
As a clergyperson, I am tasked with preaching. But as a follower of Christ, I have learned to prioritize relationships.
While I was in seminary, I had the opportunity to meet, develop friendships with, and learn from several amazing LGBTQ individuals. Eventually, I volunteered at the university’s LGBTQ office mentoring undergraduate students, many of whom had just come out of the closet or were struggling to find themselves.
Several had been kicked out of their homes and excommunicated from their families and faith communities. Countless others feared the same fate if they disclosed their LGBTQ identity. Many had been physically, mentally and sexually abused.
I saw individuals who thought themselves to be deplorable, disgusting, and disposable. They thought to themselves, “If no one else loves me, then why should I love myself?”
Several attempted suicide and some succumbed to their injuries. I remember the first time I was called to the hospital after a student attempted suicide. I saw their pain — I felt their pain. They were in such bondage, yearning to be free from all the hurt and confusion. They needed deliverance.
Thankfully, I was able to be a part of the community that supported this student and many other young LGBTQ individuals on their various journeys. Even though I didn’t fully understand all of the different identities, expressions and orientations — and even though I did not always use the right terminology — I did my best to honor the relationships I had with students and colleagues.
I listened. I offered support when I could and when it was appropriate. I spoke up for people who couldn’t speak for themselves. And because of those relationships, some amazing things happened.
I saw students who were previously severely depressed start to thrive. I saw young people who used to hate themselves grow into confident trailblazers. Folks who used to carry so much shame and guilt began to live authentically and unapologetically.
These deep, supportive relationships between LGBTQ people and allies yielded a transformative power that changed lives. These relationships saved lives.
Then it dawned on me: This is deliverance. Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
Young LGBTQ people who were previously bound by self-hate, familial rejection, and societal oppression were now living freely and openly. Folks who were in deep pain and agony could find joy and peace. Those who had no will to live were now living abundant lives. I simply could not deny that this was God at work.
LGBTQ people need deliverance. They need deliverance from harmful theologies that tell them they are unloved. They need deliverance from family members who throw them away. They need to be set free from societal norms that demean and political stunts that prevent them from living full lives. They need liberation from churches that tell them they are not welcome.
Christians who are concerned with the deliverance and salvation of God’s children should seek to develop meaningful relationships — especially members of the LGBTQ community — in order to bring about the transformative power of God.
The Rev. Luther Young is a pastoral leader at Woodland Christian Church on the Near East Side, moderator of the Disciples LGBTQ+ Alliance and a PH.D. candidate at Ohio State University.
Keeping the Faith is a column featuring the perspectives of a variety of faith leaders from the Columbus area.