Man completes court program, beats anxiety
Overcomes severe agoraphobia in the process
The first time James Nesser walked into Franklin County Municipal Court to join other participants in the court’s mental-health program, his social anxiety and agoraphobia were so severe that he broke down.
“I sat down in a crowded courtroom, absolutely filled to the brim, and I just started pouring silent tears out,” he recalled.
One of the program coordinators approached and asked Nesser if he would feel better if they went outside – an invitation that he welcomed.
This week, less than two years later, Nesser strode onto the stage of the courthouse auditorium and stood at a microphone after accepting his
certificate as a graduate of court’s Learning to Identify and Navigate Change (LINC) program.
“When I first joined this program, I was a wreck,” Nesser told a room full of fellow participants, graduates and their supporters, as well as others watching via Zoom.
He spoke about the the embarrassment of his paralyzing first day.
“I have come so far,” he said. “I can actually stand in front of you and talk like a normal human being. A lot of that is thanks to this program.”
Nesser, 27, was referred to the program in December 2019 by his public defender after he was charged with domestic violence for an argument with his mother that turned physical at the Columbus home they shared.
It was a first offense for a man who describes himself as a pacifist but found himself unable to control his emotions after he stopped taking his depression and anti-anxiety medications. He replaced those drugs with marijuana, he said, and hadn’t left the house for about two months before the incident.
For Municipal Court Judge Cindi Morehart, Nesser is one of the most-inspiring success stories in her more than four years of overseeing the specialty court designed to help misdemeanor offenders struggling with mental-health problems.
“I have not seen a participant suffer from such a severe case of agoraphobia,” Morehart said. “When he started, it would break my heart to watch how much he struggled.”
The anxiety disorder is marked by fears about venturing away from home, out into crowded public places or situations that can cause panic or feelings of being trapped and helpless.
Nesser said he has struggled with social anxiety since middle school, although therapists told him he had manic depression. He said he tried to “power through” the crippling fears, but they caused him to drop out of high school (he eventually got his GED), and prevented him from holding a job for any length of time. For one two-year stretch, he almost never left home.
Within months of him entering the LINC program, the pandemic hit, shutting down most court functions for much of last year. It threatened to derail any progress he was making in overcoming his fear of public spaces.
Nesser had lengthy, weekly phone conversations with Mallorie Davis, then one of the program coordinators, in the early days of the pandemic.
“I knew during that time I wasn’t getting what I needed, which is I needed to expand my space, the area in which I was comfortable being,” he said. “As soon as they started using Zoom, I asked, ‘Can I just come into the courtroom and take every precaution that we can? I need to come to the courthouse.”
Morehart was happy to comply. During the group’s Zoom meetings, she would receive a text to alert her when Nesser had arrived.
“I’d leave my computer and take a break and go see him in the courtroom,” she said.
In his early days in the program, just getting to the 12th floor of the Municipal Court building, where Morehart’s courtroom is located, was an accomplishment.
When his anxiety didn’t permit him to join the other participants in the courtroom, the judge and the coordinators would meet with Nesser in a conference room.
“Sometimes, I remember he’d make his way in the front door (of the courtroom) but he couldn’t come any closer, so we’d go meet him at the door,” Morehart said. “It was step by step, literally.”
The LINC program was created in 2004 after court officials finally recognized that a significant number of those who were cycling through Municipal Court on low-level offenses were suffering from mental illness and would continue to come through that revolving door if they were given jail or traditional probation rather than therapy.
In the program’s 18 years, 377 participants have graduated, including the 20 who completed the program this year with Nesser.
All LINC participants must go to counseling for their mental-health problems, and the overwhelming majority of them get treatment for drug or alcohol addictions. All must abstain from drugs and alcohol, undergo frequent drug tests and avoid new offenses. Those in the first of four phases of the program are required to come to the group meetings in court every week.
Participants who don’t comply face consequences. They can, for example, be ordered to show up every day to be drug tested. The judge can send repeat violators to jail for a few days. The ultimate punishment is being removed from the program and serving whatever jail time is hanging over their heads.
Nesser learned early in his required treatment that, despite seeing counselors and being on various antidepressants since his years as a middle-school student, he had been misdiagnosed and hadn’t receiving the right type of therapy.
“Regular cognitive behavioral therapy does not work on me the way it works for the majority of the population,” he said. “I needed EMDR, a specialized therapy.”
EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing – is a psychotherapy often used for individuals whose anxiety is related to trauma. Nesser traces his mental-health issues to sexual abuse he experienced at the age of 6.
He credits EMDR treatment and the support he received in the LINC program with dramatic improvements in how he deals with his anxieties.
Nesser’s progress was so overwhelming to Morehart and program coordinators that they surprised him at the graduation ceremony with the Julie Fisherpadgett Award, given annually to the graduate who “overcame what initially seemed like insurmountable adversities and did it in a steadfast, positive, relentless manner.”
Morehart said she and the staff hold a meeting every year to determine the award winner.
“This was the guickest meeting we ever had,” Morehart said. “His was the first name that came up. It was completely unanimous. “
Because of his successful completion of the program, the judge will dismiss the charge that was filed against Nesser in 2019. Nesser also will be eligible to seek the expungement of the record.
The South Side resident is about to start a seasonal job on fall weekends at the Carnage Haunted House on the Southeast Side. He hopes to enter school next year to become an esthetician, licensed to perform cosmetic skin treatments.
All of it would have been unthinkable when he entered the LINC program, he said, especially the scene of him calmly speaking into the microphone in the crowded courthouse auditorium.
“If I had been able to go back in time and see that moment in my future, I would think that I had just jumped to the moon,” Nesser said. “But having lived through all that time, I know it was about a billion little baby steps that led me there.” jfutty@dispatch.com @johnfutty