The Columbus Dispatch

Admitting unpleasant­ness of task cultivates discipline

- Write to Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com

Adapted from an online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I broke my shoulder six weeks ago and yesterday started physiother­apy. I have to do several exercises, several times a day, or I’ll permanentl­y lose my shoulder mobility

The problem is that they are really painful, and I have a low pain threshold. I can’t use the excuse of time, because at the moment I have plenty of it. How can I motivate myself to do my exercises? Previous experience indicates that just willing myself to do them isn’t terribly successful. Thank you.

— Unmotivate­d

Put something “behind” your exercises that you care about. So, say, your favorite show is X, and you can watch X only after you’ve done your exercises.

All of it will be a trick of the mind, so if you refuse mind tricks, then you will lose shoulder mobility. Your call. But I’ve found the better mind tricks are the ones with rewards.

I should say, immediate rewards, like watching a good show — not abstract rewards, like shoulder mobility several years from now.

Here’s a bonus suggestion from cartoonist Nick Galifianak­is:

“Something that’s helped me and, recently, a previously A-student teenage relative who struggled during the pandemic: I told him I don’t believe in motivation. There’s too much trying to trick yourself, which you’re aware of, and it’s too easy to tell yourself you’ll start anew tomorrow.

“So instead, admit you don’t want to do the thing because it’s inconvenie­nt and unpleasant, whether cleaning your room or studying for exams or doing your therapy. Don’t BS yourself. But also note that it has to be done. ‘I’m going to do this terribly unpleasant thing and I’m not going to paint a smiley face on it. Maybe I’ll smile after it’s done, because the awfulness is behind me, but right now this sucks, there’s no way around that, and I’m going to get it out of the way.’ So what you’re cultivatin­g is discipline, which is more permanent and carries over to many other things. By acknowledg­ing the unpleasant­ness of the thing, you realize it won’t be easier/better to do it later, so you start, get momentum and finish it.”

Me again.

This is the last bit of writing I have to do to finish for the day, so I can attest to the utility of, “It needs to be done, so now I will do it.”

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