The Columbus Dispatch

Many dogs these days live in the lap of luxury

- First Person Andra Gillum Guest Columnist

There’s an old expression that refers to “living a dog’s life.”

Dating back to the 16th century, it refers to leading a miserable, unhappy life, according to Urbandicti­onary.com.

Although the expression may have been true long ago, things have clearly changed. These days, most dogs lead a charmed life that most of us would love

to have!

When I was growing up in the early ’80s, we had a little white dog named Buttons.

Despite what my kids think, this was well after the 16th century. By then, things were much better for dogs, but nothing compared with today!

We loved Buttons and treated her well. She had a nice life, and rarely complained. But then again, she had no idea how things would improve over the next 30 years.

Buttons didn’t have any clothes. No sweaters, no booties, and no rain jacket to keep her dry. The only accessory she had was a white plastic flea collar that she wore during the summer.

These days there are holiday sweaters, quilted vests and fan apparel for your dog’s favorite team.

Buttons ate Dog Chow that we bought at the grocery store. There were two choices: Dog Chow and Puppy Chow.

These days, there are hundreds of brands and lines of dog food made with fish, chicken, beef, tofu, you name it! There are varieties for sensitive stomachs, itchy skin, senior dogs, overweight dogs, big dogs, little dogs.

You will find these endless choices at the grocery store, but also huge stores dedicated only to dogs and cats. There, you’ll find treats for picky eaters, games for hyper pets, bones for aggressive chewers, and beds for dogs with bad backs. You’ll find ointments, specialty shampoos and conditione­rs, and even meat-flavored toothpaste.

We also never worried about Buttons getting bored or needing to improve her social skills. When no one was home, she stayed by herself. We never hired a dog sitter or dog walker.

When we went out of town, she stayed at our vet’s office. There were no doggy day cares, or dog camps or pet hotels.

There was certainly not Puppy Kindergart­en, or Dog School or K-9 Academy. Buttons had no diploma, but that was OK.

We used to get Buttons groomed every now and then, usually at Christmas time, plus any time she rolled in goose poop or a patch of burrs.

These days, there are salons and even spas for dogs. Dog washing and grooming have been rebranded. Now

you can add a specialty shampoo or a blow-out. How about a nail trim and file? I’m sure you could request color for an added fee.

How about a massage for your stressed or overworked dog or maybe a facial for those under-eye bags?

Speaking of dogs and work, there’s another expression that refers to “working like a dog.” This implies that you have been working long and hard. Granted, some dogs do work hard. We love therapy dogs, guide dogs, service dogs, and police and military dogs.

My two dogs, however, are happily unemployed. They do gobble up all the food and crumbs that we drop on the floor. Who needs a Roomba?

But they also gather under my feet when I’m preparing any sort of food. I’ve accidental­ly kicked, tripped over and stepped on them, but they still shadow my every move waiting for anything to drop.

Other than that, our dogs pretty much sleep on the couch or in the sun all day long. When we’re outside, they’ll occasional­ly chase a squirrel or dig a hole, but usually right through the flowers.

In terms of a good work/life balance, my dogs have figured it out.

Over the years, things have certainly gotten better for dogs. The old saying “It’s a dog’s life” does not apply, unless you’re suggesting that someone is living like royalty.

Speaking of the royal family, the Queen of England recently launched her own line of dog accessorie­s featuring engraved leather collars and leashes, jeweled food bowls, and tartan-patterned hunting jackets. Now every dog can live and look like a royal. Come to think of it, I guess they already do.

Andra Gillum, 52, lives in Upper Arlington.

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 ?? COURTESY ANDRA GILLUM ?? Rosy and Lucy, Andra Gillum’s two dogs
COURTESY ANDRA GILLUM Rosy and Lucy, Andra Gillum’s two dogs

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