Guardians’ Kwan fought ‘imposter syndrome’ to reach majors
Steven Kwan didn’t feel like he belonged. He was out of place, not on the same level.
As a freshman at Oregon State, Kwan’s introduction to collegiate baseball didn’t exactly go to plan, and a current Guardians starting pitcher contributed to that.
“It was funny,” Kwan said Sunday, one day after learning he made the Guardians’ opening day roster. “I remember my first college game, we were in Surprise, (Florida) for a tournament, and we played Ball State.
“The starting pitcher was Zach Plesac ... I struck out twice, missed a sign, didn’t get a bunt down, missed a ball in the outfield. Just was not ready.”
Guardians manager Terry Francona has praised Kwan for his “old school” style of hitting and the fact that he doesn’t swing and miss at the same rate as many hitters in today’s game.
That style was born on that day in Surprise.
“I had to completely restructure my swing,” Kwan said. “Day one of college they told me that swing wasn’t going to work, so I went into the lab with Tyler Graham, our player development guy at the time.
“We worked on that, but the big thing was the mental game. I just did not believe in myself. I was unbelievably insecure. I had huge impostor syndrome. I just didn’t think I belonged there at all. We had all these high recruits, and I didn’t feel like I belonged. It was talking to a sports psychologist, diving into the mental game of meditation, visualization, affirmations, all those kind of
things.”
All of it led to this weekend when
Kwan learned from Francona that he will break camp with the Guardians instead of being sent to Triple-a Columbus to begin the season.
Francona decided to add even more drama to the moment.
“Just having that really somber mood, “Kwan said. “He’s like, ‘We know you worked so hard . ... We’re sorry it took so long. We had to come to this decision.’
“And I’m like, ‘I’m getting cut, that sucks.’ Kind of just preparing myself for it, but then he kind of took it a whole 180 on that and told me I made the team. So that was just a rollercoaster of emotions, but that was pretty fun.”
He’ll likely open the season splitting time in the corner outfield with Bradley Zimmer, Oscar Mercado and potentially Amed Rosario. Kwan will be a major leaguer.
And he belongs.