Niece keeps secret life hidden from her mother

Dear Abby: My niece, “Amanda,” is 19 and fairly close with my daughter “Hayley,” who is 18. Since graduating from high school and through her first year away at college, Amanda has been going out of town to meet men she meets online. Amanda shares her location with Hayley through Snapchat “in case something happens.” My niece is doing this without letting anyone (other than Hayley) know and often uses my daughter as a cover to her parents.

These aren’t just dinner dates, but usually weekends away from home. Hayley always tells me when Amanda is away. We are both concerned about her behavior, as human trafficking is very real. I have tried talking to Amanda about it, but she insists she’s safe and knows what she is doing. My question is, should I tell her mom or not?

– Afraid For Her In Idaho

Dear Afraid: Amanda is playing with fire. Her father should be tipped off as well if he’s in the picture. Someone needs to get through to that girl, who seems determined to put herself in harm’s way.

Dear Abby: I am a 60-year-old female. Over the past 10 years, people have increasingly been calling me “Sir” in public. I hate it. I usually carry a purse, but not always. I have an athletic build, and I do wear T-shirts often. My response is, “My name is ‘Susan.’ ”

Do you have any other suggestions? It’s making me crazy. This has been going on too long. Today when it happened, I had been ready to make a purchase, but instead walked out of a furniture store because I was so offended. Their loss.

– All Woman In The South

Dear All Woman: You are handling these comments as adeptly as possible. The person who addresses you as the wrong gender should be rightly embarrassed when you respond that your name is Susan. Leaving a store rather than making an expensive purchase was also the right thing to do. You know who you are. Try handling the comments with humor and see if that works better.

Dear Abby: My aging father lives hundreds of miles away from me. I try to call him every day, but it feels like my calls are not welcome. I am the only person he has contact with other than his caregivers. Should I keep trying or give up?

– Discouraged Daughter In California

Dear Daughter: Do not give up. Is this normal behavior on your father’s part? If it isn’t, he should be examined by his doctor to ensure he hasn’t had a stroke or gone into a cognitive decline. It’s very important you know his health status as well as whether there have been other changes in his life that would account for his behavior. Pay him a visit, if that’s possible. I cannot stress this too strongly.

Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.