‘Goddess of tidy’ Marie Kondo no match for messy kids

Marie Kondo has surrendered to clutter, which should be no surprise. She has three kids — it’s hopeless.

“My home is messy,” the author of “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up” admitted recently.

Of course it’s messy. Not even the goddess of tidy can defeat the twin forces of stuff and children.

I know this battle, having helped raise two kids and now babysitting two grandkids. I know the damage a toddler can do with just a graham cracker, a glass of milk and immature impulse control.

Kondo’s youngest child, a son, is nearing age 2. Two-year-olds revel in clutter. If there’s a box of crayons available, they’re going to dump it out, break seven or eight crayons in half, throw several others just to see what happens and taste a couple more before getting down to the work of scribbling a few lines on a piece of paper, then announcing, “All done,” and demanding the Playdoh.

Kondo’s meditative uncluttering ritual — holding up each possession and keeping it only if it “sparks joy” — doesn’t sound especially compatible with chaotic kiddie circumstances.

Let’s imagine: Three youngsters in the house. Clothes probably strewn about. At least a few Cheerios under the couch cushions. Legos hiding in the carpet like little landmines waiting to be stepped on by an unshod adult. Who could blame her if she just grabbed a shovel and heaved it all into a dumpster?

I think we can presume, given her success, that Kondo has domestic help, but don’t underestimate the resilience of clutter. Eventually, it always wins, no matter the forces arrayed against it.

Electronic devices were supposed to reduce paper clutter. They increased it − and added miles of tangled cords and connectors for good measure.

Closet systems were supposed to solve the problem of too much clothing. But how could they when the average family of four has more pairs of shoes than entire military regiments did in the 19th century?

The organizing industry is basically devoted to selling us goods to put our stuff in or hang our stuff on or otherwise impose order. Which is not decluttering. It’s moving clutter to a different location. Guess what eventually finds its way into the space that the clutter vacated? In my experience, more clutter.

Kondo had clutter on the defensive for a while, but it’s come back strong. There’s a trend called maximalism that basically advocates showing off your stuff rather than hiding it in bins, boxes, canisters and cubes.

I don’t think Kondo will go maximalist, but it sounds like she’s made peace with messy family surroundings.

“The way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life,” she said.

Good move. Not that she had a choice.

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist. joe.blundo@gmail.com @joeblundo