Julia Louis-dreyfus shines in ‘You Hurt My Feelings’
Anyone who has experienced a relationship will understand the need to gloss over opinions that might hurt the other person.
The cookies your child baked have salt instead of sugar. Your best friend’s painting is just a bit too weird. Your spouse is a published author, but you don’t like their most recent work. It’s a cringy feeling but you don’t have the heart to spoil someone’s joy. “Don’t yuck their yum,” as some people say.
That final example is exactly what Don and Beth face in “You Hurt My Feelings.” Written and directed by Nicole Holofcener (“Enough Said,” the Oscar-nominated “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”), her latest film centers on small interactions, and specifically the white lies, told between a married couple in New York City.
Julia Louis-dreyfus stars as Beth, a sweet, bubbly – dare we say overly positive – wife and mother. She’s a writer. As we learn, her memoir did fine, but “should’ve done better,” at least according to her overbearing mother. Beth has also had essays and other smaller works published in magazines and newspapers.
Her husband, Don, played by Tobias Menzies (“Outlander,” “The Crown”), is a therapist, although he’s worried he’s losing his edge. Confusing client stories and seemingly unhelpful, as some of his patients say, Don nevertheless is a loving and present husband.
Their 23-year-old son works at a dispensary but is writing a play. Beth’s sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) is married to Mark (Arian Moayed), a small-time actor.
Holofcener’s writing and directing once again shine
Holofcener’s writing and direction shine again in this film. She has a knack for capturing the humor in everyday occurrences. That’s not an easy feat, as anyone who’s tried their hand at writing knows. Well, except maybe for Beth.
Beth and Don are very much in love with each other. They share food, are always physically affectionate and support each other no matter what. You’d almost hate how perfect their relationship is if not for how entertaining Louisdreyfus and Menzies are.
Yet the happy couple’s trust is tested
when Beth overhears her husband telling their brother-in-law that he didn’t like her new novel, but he couldn’t tell her that to her face because it would crush her. After all, he supports her 110%. At the climax of the movie he even tells her that he loves her because of her, not for her writing. To which Beth remarks that she is her work. The poutyface Louis-dreyfus pulls in this scene is just brilliant.
Julia Louis-dreyfus is hilarious with whiney woe
Louis-dreyfus hilariously delivers Beth’s whiney woe. How dare Don lie to her? She tries to lose her lunch on the streets of New York, but ends up calling a false alarm. It’s so over-the-top but wonderfully funny. And it’s so in line with who Beth is. Sweet, supportive, caring to a fault – perhaps some borderline toxic positivity is thrown in there as well.
Don is facing his own personal crisis. He fears he’s getting old. Not only does he feel less sharp during his patient sessions, he fears that he looks old too. It’s a small detail, yet pointed. It’s often women who are portrayed as panicking over their aging looks, but here we have a man who in the end goes under the knife to clear some wrinkles.
The core of this story is honesty in relationships. Should you be brutally honest with your partner or sugar-coat things? How should you tread that line? It’s tempting to see Beth’s behavior as an overreaction. But when Don reveals he’s read and re-read her drafts so many times without providing anything but positive feedback, it’s possible to see where Beth is coming from.
“You Hurt My Feelings” has the intimate feel of a stage play. Even the camera work shows off the couple’s world. Everything else is ancillary, but delightful as well. Sometimes, you just need a witty and sweet movie, and Nicole Holofcener delivers it.
Contact Kaely Monahan at kaely.monahan@arizonarepublic.com. Follow her on our podcasts Valley 101 and The Gaggle, and on Twitter @Kaelymonahan.