Chef Mays ponders a pressure cooker

Recently, I’ve been teaching my media writing students at the University of Memphis about the importance of good quotes in a news story.

Quotes make the story, I told them. They are the difference between a bland article that no one reads and one that’s lively and memorable.

Then along came this doozy of a quote from Dorsey Hopson, the interim superintendent of Memphis City Schools who still functions as the district’s legal counsel.

“When you invite somebody into your kitchen … it’s a recipe for disaster.”

The context for the quote involves a lengthy discussion at a unified Memphis and Shelby County school board meeting last week over whether to respond to a federal judge who has grown impatient with how slowly the board is getting the merger of city and county schools done.

U.S. Dist. Judge Samuel “Hardy” Mays is leaning toward appointing a “special master” to help speed the merger along. But the unified board, on Hopson’s recommendation, opted not to respond to the plan.

Hence the stranger in the kitchen comment.

Hopson’s metaphor obviously resonated with a majority of the 23-member board. In their minds, they’re moving as fast as they can to finish the numerous details required for the largest school merger in U. S. history. That includes naming a permanent superintendent, which Mays believes has dragged on too long.

Hopson’s quote was good. But here are a couple of other kitchen-related cliches that are equally applicable to this board.

One is, too many cooks spoil the broth. Whoever thought it was a good idea to fuse the old ninemember city school board with the old seven-member county school board, and then add seven more people to this volatile mix needs a head examination.

I know they have tried to be cordial and efficient, but Mays is right. The board has dragged its feet on several important issues, particularly a permanent superintendent.

The other culinary cliche is, if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Several board members seemed to take offense at the judge’s impatience and other ongoing public criticism of their work. For example, the board has wasted valuable time talking about changing the name of the school district to include Memphis, when that issue can be decided later.

Let’s concede that merging city and county schools is the most difficult thing this community has undertaken — probably ever. And if we could go back in time, we likely wouldn’t have created this calamity.

But, pardon the additional kitchen puns, the milk has been spilled. And time’s a-wasting. So stop dilly-dallying, and keep working to make chicken salad out of you-know-what.