No excuse for Paula’s language, judgment
Paula Deen is 66 years old, about the same age as my mother and her sisters (OK, my mom, the eldest, is a bit north of that). I’ve never heard the N-word leave their mouths and would be shocked if I did. They grew up in the rural South, and certainly it’s a word they would’ve heard in their youth.
It was no less hateful a word 50 years ago than it is today, but we’ve evolved as a society. People with even a minimal amount of good sense don’t use it. Being from a different generation is no excuse.
Here’s something else about my mother and her sisters: None of them would, for half a second, think we should have a wedding with an all-black serving staff. We had a wedding last year, and no one said, “Hey, I’ve got this crazy idea ...” The subject did not come up.
They would never, not in a million years, find it funny to emulate a sexual act with a pastry. (If you want more information about that, just Google “Paula Deen” and “éclair.”) You can bet they wouldn’t use the crass language you’ll find in the same video, either.
I’m not without some sympathy for her, as it seems like it’s her pathological devotion to her very troubled brother that landed her in the deposition that became her undoing.
But this is the truth: Paula is the architect of her own misfortune. The use of the N-word has received the most attention, but you can read the transcript of her deposition online and see that she seems to exhibit poor judgment in many ways. It’s inconceivable, really, that she falls back on a boys-willbe-boys defense to excuse her brother’s (alleged, of course) crude offenses, such as showing pornographic images on his computer to employees. It’s man stuff, she says. They all think it’s funny.
She comes across as unbelievably (as in I don’t buy it) naive, uncertain of what racial or sexual harassment is, and says she doesn’t “know how to get an e-mail.”
Please. Paula Deen Enterprises brings in millions of dollars a year. She has a website, a Twitter account, a Facebook page. I’m not saying she’s the one who tweets, but it’s unlikely that she doesn’t have an e-mail address.
And let me speak for myself, if not for all women, when I say that I probably wouldn’t like Paula’s jokes very much. After saying that most jokes target a certain group — she mentions Jews, Mexicans, blacks and so on — she reveals her favorite target.
“I poke fun at myself and other women.”
I’ve interviewed Paula twice and both times was drawn into long conversations with her. I liked her,
and I’m a tiny bit conflicted. I don’t really want to bash her, because everyone else is doing a good job of that, and I also feel that in the past she’s been unfairly attacked.
But I also don’t see why we should forgive her. On the one hand I feel she’s tarnished the reputation of the South, but on the other, I wonder: Who is she to sully us? She doesn’t represent my South, not with talk and behavior like that.
She’ll pay a high price for her poor choices, but she’s also had a long ride and raked in millions of dollars on the journey. Here’s my advice, and it comes from the heart. Time to let it go, Paula. Cut Bubba off, because you should’ve done that long ago. Then take your money and go home. Reflect. Read. Take counsel. Maybe you’ll come to understand why adults have to be accountable for what they do and say. Maybe then you’ll have more than a tearful apology to offer. Maybe you’ll have insight and can offer a teachable moment.
I’ll be listening when the day comes. I hope to see you on Oprah.
COUPONS AT KROGER
So Kroger says no more doubling coupons after July 10, and they promise lower prices in exchange. Do you use coupons? How will this affect you? Share your thoughts on the Southern Tastes Facebook page at facebook.com/sotastes.
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Here’s a recipe from a Southern chef with Memphis roots. I’ve made salmon croquettes more in the past two weeks than I have in the past 10 years; I love them at present. This recipe calls for fresh salmon. Sara Foster says it’s a great way to use leftover salmon. Contact Jennifer Biggs at biggs@commercialappeal.com or 901-529-5223.