Reader regrets move to big city for her husband
Dear Annie: Two years ago, I made a big mistake. I married a widower and agreed to move into his house in a large city that is a 30-minute drive from the small town I love living in.
I now realize that I absolutely hate living in the city and, more importantly, living in the home that he and his late wife picked out and decorated together.
I love my husband, and our relationship is wonderful except for this issue. Here’s the real problem: I recently learned that I have metastatic breast cancer. I cannot bear the thought of living what’s left of my life in his house and in this city.
Three years ago, he said he’d move into a condo in five years. Last month, he said the same thing. I know he’s not ready. But he is 81, and I am 70, and it’s time to downsize.
He owns a condo in my hometown that he rents out. I own a house that is rented out, although mine still has a small mortgage on it. I’m thinking of asking him not to renew the rental on his condo so we can stay there some of the time and in his home the rest of the time. I am so torn inside. What do you think?
—T.
Dear T.: We think you have suggested an excellent compromise. You also could stop renting your house and live there part of the time. Should your husband outlive you, he can move wherever he chooses. Right now, you should not be stressed about your living situation, and we hope your husband cares enough to make you comfortable. We think he will want to do whatever he can.
Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “M.W.,” who doesn’t like to travel because she su ers from motion sickness.
When I lost the sight in one eye, my ophthalmologist said I’d no longer get airsick or carsick. He said a NASA astronaut discovered that by closing one eye, the dizziness from the e ects of being weightless went away. He was right. I can now fly and look out the plane window or read while riding in a car and su er no ill e ects.
— One Advantage
Dear Advantage: Thanks for the interesting suggestion. We hadn’t heard of this before, and we hope our readers will try your solution.