Man leaves his marriage for a freeing, exciting a�air
Dear Annie: After 14 years of marriage, my husband, “Ron,” left me for another woman. Here’s how it happened: For several years, friends had dinner with us once a week. One day, they brought along “Fran,” a recently widowed woman they took under their wing. Ron initially told me he found her vulgar, overweight, unattractive and heavily tattooed. Fran talked nonstop about herself, bragging about her time in a biker club where she enjoyed “getting wasted on drugs and having random sex,” a lifestyle she wanted to get back into.
Within weeks, Ron changed his tune about Fran. He decided she was “cool,” and he, too, wanted a life that included drugs and random sex. He and Fran began to text and call each other daily, often right in front of me. Ron began to find fault with everything I said or did, and criticized me to others. He even assaulted me physically and then stopped speaking to me for months. Finally, he left and moved in with Fran.
Annie, I did everything for Ron. I helped support us with my full-time job while doing all the cooking and cleaning. Our sex life was great. I kept myself slim and attractive.
Nearly a year after Ron left, he begged me for forgiveness, and I agreed to let him come home provided he got into anger management counseling. I also told him if he ever assaulted me verbally or physically again, I would terminate the marriage. With counseling, Ron became a di erent man, loving and supportive, and very apologetic. But to this day, he has been unable to tell me what he found so provocative about Fran, a woman he now says he abhors.
Why would a man leave a loving relationship for one that is so destructive? If any of the men in your reading audience have done this, could they tell me why? And were they happy?
— Waiting for Answers
Dear Waiting: We don’t believe Fran was the attraction. We think it was the promise of her lifestyle that he found fascinating, exciting and freeing. But it turned out to be something much less appealing in practice. We are glad Ron has become a better husband, and if our readers have more to say, we’ll be happy to print it.