Reader is frustrated by sisters not stepping up

Dear Annie :Iamthe youngest of three girls and have always been the black sheep of the family. I have two sisters who don’t have kids, yet they constantly tell me I’m not a good mother or daughter.

I have always tried to be a good daughter, especially after Dad passed away. My sisters don’t do much for our mom. One lives out of state, so I guess she thinks she doesn’t have to do anything. The other sister calls Mom often, but doesn’t bother to stop by.

Mom is on a limited income. We all work full time and have husbands, but I’m the only one who buys her groceries and takes her places. I recently told my mother how I was feeling about my sisters, and she told me they will never change. And why should they? Mom refuses to ask for any help from the other two. She never asks me to take her shopping, but I know she needs food in her house. I also enjoy spending time with my mom. She’s an awesome woman who worked hard and provided for her children.

I had once before disappeared from Mom’s life because I was tired of putting up with this nonsense. I didn’t speak to anyone for a year. But I realized my mother won’t be here forever, and we’ve been attached at the hip ever since. Now I’m tired of the nonsense again. What am I supposed to do?

My sisters are perfectly aware of Mom’s needs. I believe they are selfish. What’s it going to take for them to wake up? I can’t talk to either one of them because it just upsets me. But I can’t go back and keep taking care of Mom all by myself. It gets expensive to do this every week with no help whatsoever.

— The Black Sheep

Dear Sheep: You sound like a caring daughter, but you cannot force your sisters to be the same. If you were an only child, would you continue helping Mom? It might be less frustrating for you to think of yourself that way. However, you may be able to get your sisters to contribute financially if it lets them o the hook otherwise. Calmly explain that Mom’s income limits what she can buy at the grocery, and though you are happy to take her shopping and supplement her supplies, it is becoming too di�cult. Ask how much they can contribute for these expenses. We hope they come through.