Girl is conflicted by two invitations to her prom
Dear Harriette: My friend got asked to prom by a boy in our grade whom she likes as a friend and wouldn’t mind going to prom with. She was hoping another guy would ask her, so she told him she wasn’t sure yet. Now, the guy she was hoping for did ask her, and she is conflicted whether she should say yes. She doesn’t want to be hurtful to the first guy because he is really nice, but if he sees her with someone else at prom, it would be awkward because she told him no. — Indecisive, Cincinnati
Dear Indecisive: Had your friend agreed to go to the prom with the first boy, I would say she should honor the commitment. She should have told him a clear “No, thank you,” when he first asked. Because she didn’t, the situation is now awkward. She has the right to go to the prom with the boy she wants to go with. What she should do out of respect to the other boy is to double back to him. She should thank him again for the invitation but let him know that she is going with someone else. She should apologize for not telling him from the beginning. If she is sincere with him about being sorry that she may have hurt his feelings, she will at least come across as authentic. It won’t change that her not being direct from the start led to this uncomfortable situation right now. But it may allow for him to save face and for them to maintain a respectful relationship.