Accept compliment without undermining it
How best can a hostess graciously accept compliments on her cooking?
When people remark on a dish, I find myself saying “Thank you,” and then adding a disclaimer (i.e., “It was an easy recipe”). I feel uncomfortable simply saying “Thank you” without anything else, but perhaps this is the most polite response. What should one add, if anything?
A winning smile. Miss Manners recognizes, without understanding, that most people find it difficult to accept a compliment with good grace. But she urges you to consider that attempts to convince the guest that your cooking is not worthy of compliment are neither flattering, appetizing, nor, convincing.
My spouse and I enjoy completely different types of music. It usually isn’t a problem because our house has enough room for me to get away from it. However, when we drive in her car, she insists on playing her music.
When we drive in my car, I ask her what she wants to listen to, hoping we can agree on the same XM channel, which usually happens.
What are the rules on car radio etiquette? Is she right? Does the owner and driver of the car get to choose the music?
How about the rules of marriage, starting with Don’t Torture Your Spouse?
Being in the driver’s seat, literally or figuratively, does not relieve one of the need to consider the comfort of others, Miss Manners assures you. On the contrary, it confers the obligation to do so. The system your wife cites — might makes right — is what civilization was invented to overturn.
I have a workmate who posted his wife’s baby shower invitation on the refrigerator door in the break room. He has not mentioned anything about it to anyone or given out private invitations.
Are we obligated to respond or buy a gift, or even RSVP, since little to no effort was really put forth on their part for inviting colleagues? I’m fairly put off, as I find this tacky and very impersonal.
Posting an invitation in the break room is not the same as issuing a formal invitation. Miss Manners gives you permission to ignore it so long as your workmate does not bring it to your attention. If he does, you will have to respond, mumbling that you didn’t realize you were included, left your glasses at home and took lunch out all week. King Features Syndicate