Judge not: It’s not nice and you might be wrong about others
It seems like such a simple thing, being kind to those around us. You would think that such conduct would come naturally and we wouldn’t have to be reminded about its importance. Yet we appear to be getting worse in this regard, becoming less kind to each other instead of more so.
We witness politicians tearing down one another. We see students bullying and being mean to others at school. We hear talk show hosts pointing out where people are “wrong-headed” in their thinking. And you and I are slow to own up to our own faults, but often quick to announce the faults of others.
Why does being critical of others seem to be increasing? One reason is that we are being conditioned to act this way by the many examples of unkind conduct we encounter on the internet each day.
Another, and possibly a bigger one, is because pointing out the faults of others gives us a feeling of superiority. For some reason, we think we are “in the know” when we say something unin
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kind about another person. If we would focus on fixing ourselves and shaping up our own lives, we would make the world a much better place and be much happier while doing so.
No matter what, we can be kind to others if we choose to. Roy T. Bennett, author of “The Light in the Heart”, passed along this reason for being kind to others: “Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because THEY are nice, but because YOU are.”
Here are three things we should all remember regarding kindness:
1. Our role in life is not to criticize others, but to help others have a better life. We accomplish so much more when we conduct ourselves in a way that clearly shows we care about other people. No special exercise or diet is required to perform this feat. It’s simply a choice you and I can make.
2. We are not always right about what we think. Seldom do we have all the facts or understand all the circumstances. As a result, seldom are we completely correct. Therefore, we should always treat “other opinions” a polite, respectful, and kind way.
3. We can’t see what someone is feeling. We don’t know what the other person may be going through, or how they may be reacting to circumstances in their own life. Therefore, we must be careful not to overreact to someone’s bad moments, but rather to be a living example of how to always treat others in a kind and respectful way.
And remember this: If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. I can’t begin to count the number of times my grandmother said that to me, always in a loving way.
She wanted me to be kind and respectful to others, and she would want you to be so as well.
If our life is ever going to have a positive impact on others, we must choose to replace judgmental behavior with acts of kindness.
Samuel Johnson, the English author, reminded us that we can all do so with these words: “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.”
That’s another important choice we all can make.
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Michael Nelson is director of Good Choices Good Life in Memphis, and author of “Living by Choice.”