Women and mental health: Unmasking the pain
Ladies, we’re all guilty of doing this at some point. Whether unconsciously or intentionally, every morning as we dress we find ourselves applying our makeup with something else.
As we interact with others, even those closest to us may struggle to detect it: a mask. It’s that thin layer of protection that buffers us from the world. It conceals our struggles in dealing with life and camouflages the internal battles we face every day.
Mental health is slowly moving to the forefront of the cultural conversation. There are several awareness weeks in October, so even in the shadows of breast cancer awareness, we have to remove the stigma.
Even in a culture that seemingly promotes transparency via social media and reality TV, the stigma of mental health continues to serve as a barrier, preventing individuals from receiving the support they need in order to cope whenever life happens. As women, we still struggle in this area.
We struggle to admit when life happens in the forms of depression, anxiety, self-loathing and body shaming. During dinner conversations with our girlfriends, we gloss over our struggles with feelings of sadness, fatigue and irritability. We neglect to share that we’re struggling with a loss of direction and motivation.
Fact is, one in every eight women can expect to develop clinical depression, a mood disorder that can severely impact quality of life. Women are twice as likely as men to attempt suicide. One in five teens and young adults live with some type of mental health condition; among half are diagnosed by age 14.
Although the stigma behind mental health can lead us to believe we’re alone in facing our mental health conditions, facts reveal that this statement doesn’t reflect the truth.
Instead of acknowledging what’s being reflected in the mirror – the brokenness, sorrow, and fear – why do we continue to conceal how we truly feel? Why do we choose to wear the unhealthy mask of pretension?
As we travel through our day, would we be able to detect that the woman in the neighboring cubicle is battling more than a heavy workload? Maybe it’s not your colleague, but that cashier who greets you with a forced smile. Maybe it’s the quiet girl who always sits alone in your school cafeteria. Maybe it’s the lady sitting on your very pew in church.
Maybe if you were to look hard enough you would discover that the girl wearing the mask is you.
Even as a mental health professional, I had found myself slipping on that very mask, masquerading as if I had it all together during a period of my life when everything was falling apart. How quickly the mask of pretension wore off when I no longer had the energy to keep reapplying its layers.
With determination and a whole lot of grace, I discovered that transparency was the one translucent foundation that didn’t require application.
If you find yourself battling with mental health stressors:
❚ Acknowledge where you are in your journey. Don’t allow your circumstances to become the only measurements that define you.
❚ Recognize that healing happens from the inside out.
❚ Show compassion to others even when you don’t receive compassion in return. You may find those individuals who judge you are the very ones dealing with their own state of brokenness.
❚ Know that you are not alone. Life doesn’t discriminate and there are others who may be facing similar internal battles.
❚ Never hesitate to ask for support. Don’t be afraid to be a support. Let’s take off our masks and show our true selves. Without the guilt. Without the shame. Flawed, but still flawless. CN Nash is a licensed mental health professional in Memphis.