Ring is just as meaningful regardless of where it’s worn

Dear Miss Manners: I am nearly 72 years old, and am finally engaged to be married, with a beautiful diamond ring. (I have had many relationships with men, but never one who gave me a ring and wanted marriage, as this man does.)

I have literally waited a lifetime for this, but I am not the type that wears much jewelry, and when I have ever worn rings in the past, I always wore them on my right hand. I know I am supposed to wear this one on my left hand, but I just can’t get comfortable with it there. There is no logical reason for this (other than I like looking at it and I seem to see it more on the right hand), as the ring fits well on both fingers, but while I have tried wearing it on the left, I keep taking it off and putting it on my right hand.

And then I feel guilty about it, and put it back on the left. How important is it to wear your engagement ring (and eventually your wedding ring) on the left hand?

Gentle Reader: Important to whom? Miss Manners cannot imagine who would have a stake in this issue other than you and your fiance, and he less than you, because it is your hand.

Yet outsiders do seem to take an unwarranted interest in other people’s marital rings. They have spread the notions that an engagement without a ring does not count, and that one without a large diamond hardly does. And that if rings are not worn on the left hand – even though in other societies, the right hand is customary – deception is intended.

Should any such person have the nerve to question you, you could simply say that it is your preference. Or you could ask if they suppose you are hoping to attract other suitors.

By Judith Martin and Nicholas Ivor Martin UNIVERSAL UCLICK

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews Mcmeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.