Shared in­ter­ests nec­es­sary

The Commercial Appeal - - Viewpoint -

Dear An­nie: I’ve been see­ing this woman for about a month. She is beau­ti­ful and smart and thinks I’m funny, which is a plus. It’s been get­ting more se­ri­ous. But re­cently, when we were try­ing to de­cide which movie to see, some new info came to light. It turns out she hates su­per­hero movies and comic books. This is a to­tal turnoff to me, to the point that I now think this re­la­tion­ship may be doomed. I just see it as sort of a lit­mus test for per­sonal com­pat­i­bil­ity. Should I end things now be­fore I get deeper, or am I be­ing petty?

— Mar­vel Mega-fan

Dear Mar­vel Mega-fan: Tastes don’t make or break a re­la­tion­ship. It can def­i­nitely help to have shared hob­bies, but shared hob­bies alone can’t form the bedrock of a se­ri­ous ro­man­tic re­la­tion­ship. Shared val­ues do. And mu­tual re­spect. And oh, yes, love. All that is to say yes, it does seem a bit petty to me to break up with her over this, but deal break­ers are in the eye of the holder. Plus, this sort of thing is also a self-ful­fill­ing prophecy. This re­la­tion­ship may now be doomed, but only be­cause you’ve de­cided it may be, not be­cause she doesn’t like Spi­der-man.

Dear An­nie: What is the proper amount to tip a hair­dresser? Re­cently, I saw some­thing in a mag­a­zine that said I should be tip­ping my hair­dresser 20 per­cent and tip­ping the sham­poo girl or boy (if there is one) an ad­di­tional $5! I get my hair done once a month, so that would re­ally start to add up. But of course, I’d cer­tainly hate to be rude. What is the eti­quette?

— Sa­lon-goer in Shreve­port

Dear Sa­lon-goer: Twenty per­cent is a fair tip for some­one with whom you’re en­trust­ing your crown­ing glory. As for tip­ping as­sis­tants, prof­fer­ing at least a small tip is usu­ally ap­pro­pri­ate, es­pe­cially if they’ve been more hands-on.

Dear An­nie: I must ad­dress the let­ter from the Viet­nam vet­eran who will not call for help. First, he should not give up. The Vet­er­ans Cri­sis Line (­er­an­scri­sis­ is 800-2738255. In 2016, 58.1 per­cent of vet­eran sui­cides were among vet­er­ans 55 or older. De­pend­ing on where the vet­eran lives, his county may have a vet­er­ans ser­vice of­fice he could visit or con­tact. He more than likely has a Vet­er­ans of For­eign Wars, Dis­abled Amer­i­can Vet­er­ans and Amer­i­can Le­gion or­ga­ni­za­tion near him that could pro­vide more re­sources. These groups serve vet­er­ans of all eras, and he could find people with whom he can re­late. And bring the bud­dies!

— Wife of a Viet­nam Vet­eran

Dear Wife of a Viet­nam Vet­eran: Thank you so much for this wealth of in­for­ma­tion.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­[email protected]­ To find out more about An­nie Lane visit the Cre­ators Syn­di­cate web­site at www.cre­

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