Tit for tat may be answer to misplaced thank-you

By Judith Martin and Nicholas Ivor Martin UNIVERSAL UCLICK

HOROSCOPES

Aries (March 21-April 19). You’re not going to change things by arguing with reality or fighting what’s going on here. This is what’s happening. Accept it, and then get to work building the new reality that renders this one obsolete.

Taurus (April 20-May 20). Love’s healing power is immeasurable. Though, because it also can’t be bottled, it’s rather easy to forget to take. You need love. Double your dosage.

Gemini (May 21-June 21). You have goals that you don’t know how to forward. The first step is to understand better where you are and where you’re going. Thought energy can flow to and through you.

Cancer (June 22-July 22). When it’s hard to be strong, you might be focusing on the things that are making you feel weary instead of focusing on what you want. Your strength grows in direct relation to your desire.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Liking a person a lot has consequences. It means you’ll probably be communicating more and spending time together, and there’s a learning curve to consider among other things. How will you make it work? Automatically. Inevitably.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If a purpose is right, it must be pursued, regardless of the odds of success. This is a theme in every action movie you’ve ever seen, and it’s a theme in your life lately, too.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To know what’s worth doing is a wisdom that not everyone has. People around you may be confused or inexperienced in this regard and you can help them out. Keep it light and friendly.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If your house is untidy, it’s probably because you’re living so much life lately that it’s challenging to keep up with. Take it as a good sign, and then devote some time to catching up with yourself in all the ways that matter to you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). This day will either become a fond memory or it will be forgotten. Much depends on whether you choose to do the daring or new thing (which will be memorable) or to stay forgettably comfortable.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Wishes cannot change the facts. That’s how we know they are facts; they’re stubbornly impervious to influence. And though you can’t change facts, you can find more pleasant facts to focus on.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). We come in and out of this world the same way – powerless. In between those points, power ebbs and flows, cyclically. Nurture others when you have the influence to do it, and then let them go, knowing everything has a season.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). The saying goes, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Much depends on what sort of fight it is, how close you are to winning and what’s at stake. The important thing is that you have more than one option to consider.

Dear Miss Manners: What is the proper response when someone says thank you for doing something that they should have done themselves? For example, when we divided chores, my spouse agreed to take the trash to the curb once a week for the city collection.

However, he is always running late in the mornings, and if I don’t take it out, we would not make it to work on time. Putting it out the night before does not work because of animals getting in the trash (city collects bags instead of emptying trash cans).

So, admitting that there is a whole different question about chore distribution and negotiation, when my spouse says “Thank you,” do I really have to say, “You’re welcome”? “My pleasure” doesn’t feel right either.

Gentle Reader: “Oh, I’m sure you would do the same for me. Which reminds me, I might not get a chance to get to the laundry I was going to do tonight. Do you mind doing it this once? Thank you, that’s very dear of you.”

Dear Miss Manners: What do we say when people wish us a nice day? My husband and I lived in Paradise, California. As everyone knows, our town was destroyed. We lost our house, our community. We are not having a nice day.

Gentle Reader: No, nor a good morning or good evening or even a goodbye, if people should wish you that. Now that you have told Miss Manners, she extends sympathy instead, and the hope that you will see better days.

But you will help no one, including yourselves, by taking offense from others who unknowingly direct conventional phrases at you without the least intention of minimizing your tragedy.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews Mcmeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.