Cyntoia Brown-long talks about faith, prison
Alexa Imani Spencer
“I know that God had a purpose for everything. I knew I needed God from the minute that cell door shut behind me when I was 16.”
Cyntoia Brown-long shared her life story before hundreds at New Direction Christian Church on Sunday. The Nashville native spoke candidly about being a child sex trafficking victim, serving 15 years in prison and spiritual transformation.
Brown-long, 31, was released from prison Aug. 7 and her memoir “Free Cyntoia: My Search for Redemption in the American Prison System” was published Oct. 15.
Brown-long was 16 years old when she was sentenced to life in prison after killing 43-year-old Johnny Allen, who she said had picked her up for sex at a fast-food restaurant.
The teenager was tried as an adult and convicted of first-degree murder and robbery.
She was ultimately granted clemency by Gov. Bill Haslam and released following public outcry from citizens and celebrities including Kim Kardashian and Rihanna.
Brown-long, who was raised in Fort Campbell with her adopted family, said things began to go downhill when children questioned her relation to her family due to their different skin tones.
“I really felt like I didn’t fit anywhere,” she said. “All of a sudden I began to see everything through this lens of being different.”
Behavioral issues developed in the classroom, getting her suspended on several occasions and eventually sent to an alternative school.
Brown-long was arrested for the first time at age 12 after skipping school with classmates.
It was then that she was then placed in a facility, from which she ran away, and ended up living on the streets in Nashville, encountering women who taught her that her “body was a tool to get the things that I needed.”
“It planted seeds in my head that told me that it was OK to give of myself in ways that I shouldn’t be giving of myself,” Brown-long said.
She based her self-worth on the men she attracted, eventually meeting the man who became her sex trafficker. This led to the 2004 fatal shooting of Allen and 2006 conviction.
Brown-long describes her journey as a spiritual one; hardship included. She is living out her destiny, she said in an interview Thursday.
“I know that God had a purpose for everything.”
Before sentencing, Brown-long prayed that she wouldn’t get life in prison. She was taught in church as a child that prayer was a form of reciprocity.
“I knew I needed God from the minute
Cyntoia Brown-long
that cell door shut behind me when I was 16,” she said on stage.
Once the verdict was served, she began to contemplate her faith.
Her faith was renewed after dreams that foretold the future. The dreams came after her transfer to a Memphis prison — an experience she touches on in her book.
“At this point, I’m freaking out like, ‘Oh my God, there really is a God,’ ” she said.
Brown-long met her husband Jamie after he began writing her letters. Their conversations helped her explore her spirituality deeper.
She recalled a phone call where she “lost it,” crying about the idea of spending life in prison after her appeals had been denied.
“He let me get it out and just calm as ever,” Brown-long said. “He said: ‘Now you gonna believe man’s report or you gonna believe what God said? ‘Cause I told you that God said you’re going home.’ ”
While writing her memoir in prison, Brown-long faced several challenges, she explained on Thursday. She recalls the manuscript getting damaged and having writer’s block.
One church service helped her through the process when the service pastor anointed her with holy oil and told her, “The Lord said write the book.”
“When I sat down this time, it was completely different,” she said. “It just started flowing out of me, whereas I was struggling before.”
For the rest of her life, Brown-long said, she will tell everyone about God. She says it’s a promise she made with him.
In her eyes, everyone is capable of salvation and second and third chances. After all, she said, Jesus himself was treated unfairly by the justice system.
“I feel that God gives us testimonies not to just sit on them, not to just keep them to ourselves, but to share,” Brownlong said. “And I definitely think that the testimony that he’s given me can help prevent other situations like mine from happening. That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing it.”
Alexa Imani Spencer covers suburbs and breaking news for The Commercial Appeal. Reach her at alexa.spencer@ commercialappeal.com or 901-3049740. Find her on Twitter: @Alexaiman